r a i n b o w m a d n e s s

Contemplations

2012-01-23T19:38:00.000-08:00

The firstthree months of every year always finishes too quickly. Soon this feeling ofelation and the whisper of brand new adventures will quickly dwindle to brokenpromises, could have been’s, and ‘shit-why-didn’t-I-do-that’-s.

But luckilyit’s still January, and I’m in a fairly good mood. Lots of plans still to come,and many more in the making. And recently I came across some good news that gotme giggling like a giddy school girl (although, admittedly.. I do tend togiggle quite easily.)

So whileI’m happy.. I thought I’d write about things I’m thankful for.

My twoyears worth of work experience – yes, in total. Because I’m a lazy bum, andalthough the idea of part-timing occurred to me, I never needed it so I neverwent through with it. Ain’t I a privileged b*tch? – will happen in a month anda bit. March 1^st to be precise. I was lucky enough to stumble upon afirst job where I learnt lots of valuable lessons and got to meet an amazinggroup of people who made me laugh, who would skive off work with me, and werehilarious to boot. I miss them all terribly now that I’m not entirely in lovewith all my co-workers in my current office. But that gripe is for my privateconversations, and not the internet’s legion of ghost-faces, and creepystalkers.

I fullyrealize how much a lazy-bum I am, and although I do try very hard to change it– it’s not happening quickly enough. So my work experience has largely beenfilled with pleasant surprises where people trust me enough to get on and workmy mojo on various things I’m supposed to handle. Yes, I’ve had mini breakdownswhere I thought it’d be best if I quit and never force my incompetent ways onthe innocent work-force of Indonesia ever again, and days when all I wanted todo was smear mud all over people faces and stomp on their thighs (becausethigh-stomping sounds more vicious than feet-stomping, but not as violent asface-stomping.).. But on the whole, I’ve never been so stressed that I ended upcrying in the middle of a busy road, wailing for someone to please save me.. And I think.. I’m pretty chuffed. I’m not whereI wished I was, but it’s good. Better than good in fact.. I’m in a great placeright now.

I lookaround at my best friends, and can honestly say that while we’re not allecstatic about where we are, with varying degrees of frustration.. We’re atleast learning to walk on our own two feet. Looking back.. These people I grewup with, who I shared showerless weeks with, who wondered about our vaguecollective future with.. Look how far we’ve come. :)

Walk Off The Earth - Somebody That I Used to Know (Gotye - Cover)

2012-01-07T04:47:00.000-08:00

Just.. BUH. I can't even.. This is serious ear candy. No idea who Gotye is, but Walk Off The Earth did a kickass cover of their song. And on one instrument no less. Enjoy :)

And available for download too! mp3 download: http://bit.ly/yrnlSA

Obsessions, part cinq - Where it all began: MUSIC I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

2011-12-26T22:07:00.000-08:00

Or rather,songs with foreign languages, with lyrics I have no hope of understandingwithout the help of the Oh-So-Wonderful Google, and/or music that I can’t singalong to unless I stare at the lyrics for hours.

Currentobsession: 2PM. Because let’s face it, much as I try to suppress it – I’m as susceptibleto abs as the next girl. And oh boy, do these boys have abs. Hellooooo!

Exhibit a. AAAAABBBSSS.

Exhibit b. Dem boiz look good in fitted shirts.

And they’rehilarious to boot. Abs and comedic talent – the way to my (admittedly shallow)heart. Every. Time. But their songs are fun, and perfect for dancing madly to.

BUT! As thetitle suggest – this wasn’t where it all began.

1999 was ayear of discovery for me, and as far as I could remember it – awesome music.Freshly landed in Jakarta, my ears were immediately assaulted with Neo’s Cewe Matre – a weird, but somewhat hilarious song about girls who are only out formoney. Woke up one day to Sheila On 7’s Dan playing on MTV one day, and at onepoint, I was introduced to Dewa. (And back then, Indonesian was pretty mucha foreign language for me! :p) And suddenly a whole new world opened..!

Up tillthen I was listening to Oasis and Blur and NSYNC and All Saints and Natalie Imbruglia – allbrilliant artists, yes.. But all English speaking singers, with lyrics inEnglish. The most ‘foreign’ artist I knew back then was Bjork (but she sangEnglish songs so I figure she doesn’t count..) and Sash! (But his songs weremostly about the beats, not the lyrics). So to my utter delight, I found ash*tload of Indonesian artists via my cousin and brother. And then.. I foundUtada Hikaru.

For a time,I was obsessed with her.

She waspretty, her songs were.. amazing, and different, I didn’t understand asingle f*cking word – and it was glorious. I’ve been listening to this oneagain non-stop:

I found thelyrics and patiently spent 10 minutes on the internet loading the page (backthen, I still had dial-up internet folks!). The wait was worth it though, I wasjust completely mesmerized by the pretty, pretty lyrics. (And we all know howmuch of a whore I am for words, yes?.. At least when I’m not distracted byABS.)

saigo no kisu wa
tabako no flavor ga shita
nigakute setsunai kaori
(the last kiss
tasted like tobacco
a bitter and sad smell)

ashita no imagoro ni wa
anata wa doko ni iru n' darou
dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou
(tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?)

you are always gonna be my love
itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
ima wa mada kanashii love song
atarashii uta utaeru made

(youare always gonna be my love
even if i fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to hold on
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song)

Pretty,yes?

So yes.Utada Hikaru’s First Love got me hooked on Japanese musicians. (From there Idiscovered L’Arc~En~Ciel, Gackt, X Japan, etc).. Basically, I blame her for mylove of songs that I DON’T UNDERSTAND BUT SOUND SO PRETTY! Mainly it's French singers, whohave me wrapped around their little fingers because hot damn, French is a sexylanguage. With the Japanese in tie for first place because seriously. Utada Hikaru. Not to mention Bump of Chicken and School Food Punishment and Spitz and Cibo Matto and many, many, many instrumental artists I adore. (Not to mention my obsession with anime and manga in high school introduced me to a sh*tload of Japanese musicians!)

But for now, my obzeshoon is with tehKoreans.

Damn it,Carla Bruni – start singing more songs. Your voice is too smexy to be keptquiet! Either you release new songs or I ogle at ABS!

Fine. Absit is. (For now at least ;P haha)

Lakon Animasi

2011-12-16T05:01:00.001-08:00

This is.. Both cute and cool. From Indonesia's very own Lakon Animasi. Enjoy. :)

Obsession, part quatre

2011-12-06T01:37:00.001-08:00

Just a little obsessed. Not so much.. But I can't stop listening to Example's songs right now. Finding his songs fun to dance around to!

First got into him after I found him from We Are Hunted, a music website I've been really into. Then saw his appearance on 8 Out of 10 Cats and Nevermind the Buzzcocks, both panel shows I've loved for ages (Nevermind anyhoo, 8 Out of 10 I've only started watching since Jon Richardson went on to be a captain.)

So yes. You can find me bouncing along to Example's songs at the most random times right now.

Caramel and whiskey.

2011-12-05T22:22:00.001-08:00

There's something magical about soft, dull, grey drenched days.

You can't help but think that something is about to happen. Any moment now. There's something simmering under the crusts of the earth and it's going to amaze everybody.. Any moment now.

Of course nothing ever really happens.

No zombie will ever crawl towards me as I shuffle miserably to my car after a particularly grueling day at work at 2 am. No army of werewolves will howl at the moon when it looks particularly delicious, all round and golden and beautiful. And no faery will whisper in my ear, luring me to their secret mound where I shall have to resist the temptation of dewdrops and exotic looking food.

I know that Narnia isn't behind a cupboard door, no matter how many times I gleefully try to sneak inside one. I understand that no matter how pretty rose petals look, or how fragrant crushed mint leaves smell - they have no magical property whatsoever, and magic spells don't exist (and anyway, spells need far more exotic ingredients. Rose petals and mint leaves are way too common!). I realize that my car won't speak to me, even if I coax it and name it and coo at it.

Yes. I do read too many books and watch too much TV and replay movies much too often.

But if nothing else, books have taught me that anything and everything is possible. Even if it's just inside my head.

Because I understand that caramel and whiskey is a terrible combination, but the taste that lingers seems to overpower just about everything else.

It's not too soon!

2011-11-21T05:10:00.001-08:00

Who else gets giddy for Christmas? (I try so hard to be an adult, but I keep failing.)

Some say November is a bit too early for all the Christmas-y ads and songs and gimmicks to come out, I say NEVER!! I adore Christmas ads :D And here's one from John Lewis.

Adora-babble yes? So adorable you just gotta tell people, and babble about it ;)

Work still surprises me with how fun it is :)

2011-11-15T23:10:00.001-08:00

When I'm feeling super tired, I think of all the fun photoshoots I've done and all of the amazing people I've met.. and I slap myself silly.

One photoshoot which made me super happy lately is with Voelkan, an interior and product design team, consisting of two very cool guys (who I've met) and The Other Guy (this is me being flip and silly, because I haven't met the other guy :P haha!). The house looked.. in short - amazing. It was everything I could have hoped for. It was colourful, fun, and best of all - immaculate! It made my job as a stylist really easy, as I didn't have to do much. Cue big grin and high fives with my long suffering photographer who usually gets roped into moving the furniture around with me.

I have to say it was one of my favourite shoots. And so soon after my last fave shoot! Lucky girl indeed!

As ever, in the midst of faffing about, procrastinating because I just don't want to write anything right now, I found Met's blog. He's one of the guys from Voelkan, and I knew he had mad crazy sk1llz from the artwork displayed at The CrazyCoolAwesome House (as I've taken to calling it in my head), but his blog is just too cool.

This is the entry he did on the shoot we had (visit here)! His illustrations journal is worth peeking as well - like I said - mad crazy sk1llz.

I should stop blogging about work. I really should. But sometimes I find stuff that's just really nice, and I have to share.

Wait.. what?

2011-10-28T12:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted anything from my trusty laptop, Willow! With her faded black keypads, chipped red enamel, and busted speakers.. This 5 year old beauty has been my trusty companion, and I miss her so.. Been abandoning her :(

Why Willow, I hear you ask? Well.. She's red, ergo Red. Ergo Willow. Look up 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. Or I may explain my love of naming all my important personal.. stuff, at a later date.

Man I can't think. Not in Indonesian, not in English, not in some mangled combination of both.

Scuse my lack of coherency.. It's 2.25 am, I'm still at the office, and I need to stab my eyes out. This anniversary issue is killing me.. BUT IT WILL BE AWESOME! I honestly can't wait to see the finished product.

But I need to stab my eyes out.

Or possibly drink myself to a day-long coma, at least then I'll have a proper hangover, with fun memories of being a crazystupid-drunk. As opposed to this hangover-like-effects from lack of sleep. I've taken to wearing sunglasses outside, at any given time.

I don't like the sun. It gives my sleep deprived brain ouchie-ouchies.

memorized ;)

2011-10-28T03:47:00.000-07:00

I don’t have trust issues!

2011-10-24T03:07:00.001-07:00

.. I just have issues.

Aha. Ahaha. Ahahaha.

Today’s random musingis brought to you by a random rant-y journal entry from back in 2006 when an exof mine pointed out that I have trust issues, and I got really pissy. I don’t,by the way. Not more so than the average person, imho..

People form theiropinions and perceptions of you based on the most random things, and you formyour own opinion of what YOU are like based on the way you want to be seen.

I think I’m geeky,very bookish, and somewhat shy. This is because I think geeks are cool, wordsmean the world to me, and people scare me. But I’ve been told that although Ihave many interests that could be classed as ‘geeky’, I am in fact – not reallyall that geeky. The bookish thing people pick up on quickly enough, as Iusually have a few books lying around, and I really am obsessed with words(English words to be precise..).. But the ‘somewhat shy’ bit makes peoplelaugh. At my face. Loudly and obnoxiously.

Somewhere along the way,I’ve found it easier to talk to strangers, although they still terrify me. Ican do the whole ‘small talk’ thing no probs, and mysmiling-like-a-serial-killer-whenever-introduced-to-new-people thing has allbut dissapeared. I attribute these changes to my super cool friends who like todrag me out to meet THEIR super cool friends. Although I still get anxious, andawkward, I guess ‘somewhat shy’ needs to be struck out of the list of words Icurrently use to describe myself.

Changing my ownperceptions about myself is one hell of a difficult thing to do though, I haveso many hang ups on things I thought were ‘not cool’ but it turns out I have todo them today, or now that I have become That-Person-I-Would-Have-Avoided-A-Million-Years-Ago,it’s a bit hard to say to myself ‘it’s okay, you’re still you..!’. As hard asit is to slap myself awake, trying to change other people’s perception of me isdouble-y hard. In fact, double it, square it, and times it by a million, and you’restill nowhere near close to how hard it is. Especially amongst people who grewup with me. People who saw me at my worst, and at my best, and think that theyknow – at heart – what I’m like.

I think I’ve all butgiven up on pointing out to cerain people that I’m not an opinionated 18 yearold anymore (still opinionated, but not 18.. So should maybe hopefully kindamaybe know better..)

So.. Trust issues?This doesn’t seem to have much to do with the post, and truthfully – it doesn’t..The random observation from the past triggered an hour long contemplation (inthe toilet no less), and I’ve concluded the one thing that remains true fromback then till now is – I don’t give a flying f***.

Obsession part Trois

2011-10-18T03:39:00.000-07:00

Or the post in which Mousey should really learn how to spell 'obsession'. It's just one of those words my brain refuses to spell correctly. The other being 'business', my problem probably lies in the abundant number of 's's it contains.

Anyhoo!

Evil eyes. Or as they're known in Turkey - nazar boncuğu. According to the ever faithful Wikipedia page, a nazar is; "an eye-shaped amulet believed to protect against the evil eye ("evil eye", from nazar and "amulet" from boncuğu). It is common in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Turkey, Armenia, Iran and Greece. In Turkey, the nazar is often hung in offices and homes, or incorporated in jewelery.
A typical nazar is made of handmade glass featuring concentric circles or teardrop shapes in dark blue, light blue, white and black, occasionally with a yellow/gold edge."

Source: Wikipedia, w00t!

I love pendants. I have a whole box of silver pendants of various sizes. And I love pendants with a 'story', religious beliefs, traditional symbols - I eat 'em up like om-nom-nom. My longest love has been for celtic trinkets, as the first ever pendant I received from my mother was a celtic knot with a tiny amethyst bead - which I still wear quite often even today.

Evil eyes have been a favourite since my early uni days, when an aunt of mine gave me the prettiest blue-green nazar pendant. It recently broke, which spurred me on a huge nazar hunt. And here I must profess my love of the internet age once more - I LOVE YOU INTERNET!

I found this shop which sells all sort of pretty pendants (which is the source of all the images in this post, the above image included), and quite a few bracelets that I have my eyes on. The white one below is defo on my MUST GET list.. It's just too pretty!

But since I just recently went on a huge nail-polish splurge (yes, that's another one of my obsessions) - alas, these will have to wait for another month! Below are two bracelets I'm crushing on. Pretty, pretty, pretty!

Sometimes when a friend says "I think you should face your fears," what they really mean is "I want to see you piss your pants/puke your face off"

2011-10-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned many times in this blog - I'm a coward. Like srsly. I go green at the mere thought of being strapped in and being turned any which way in those death traps. Oops. I meant 'RIDES'. And I still maintain that those rides are highly unnatural. If humans were meant to have their legs up in the air, and heads on the grounds, we'd be walking with our heads. Not our legs.

But I went to Dufan. And I conquered all the rides! Halilintar.. Hysteria.. Kicir Kicir (watch the videos!).. I did it all! (Tornado was under maintenance, thank fuck.).. Cheshire cat grin on my face, voice sore from screaming, hair in a tangle from everything. I did it! I'm even rather fond of Kicir Kicir.

I'm feeling rather proud of myself. One fear down, about 99 thousand to go. Haha!

(Okay, so sometimes some friends mean well when they say "face your fears..!", and maybe I should say thank you. So, thank you, K!)

Obsession part Deux

2011-09-15T02:42:00.001-07:00

Two posts in one day? Say it ain't so, Mousey!

Technically these posts consist of videos and not much else, so Opa Colson will probably consider this as me being a horrible cheat.

So here's a little explanation on why I'm posting videos of short movies.. I love short movies. I hunt the internet for short movies. Silly ones, sad ones, strangely angry ones, videos make me happy. I like watching them. A while back I posted Hugh Newman's Validation video, and now I think it's high time I post another video! One I (sort of) recently stumbled upon.

It went viral a while back, so you might have or might not have seen it before. I present to you the extremely funny 'Every Argument Every Couple Ever has EVER' from thecaseydonahue, I think the title says it all. Enjoy.

Obsession part Une

2011-09-15T00:38:00.000-07:00

So. I sometimes get obsessed with random boiz. This is my current stalkee on youtube, and I've spent entirely too much time listening to him sing.

Name: Cameron Mitchell
Obsession origin: The Glee Project

Actually, I've never seen a single episode of the glee project. But my cousin (who rarely swoons over boiz), told me to google this guy, and now here I am. Ogling. Because he's very ogle worthy. He's so cute! But mainly I'm here because of the voice.

I love the kind of voices guys like him has, I swoon and I giggle and I squee. And I love his choice of covers. Above is his cover of the Beatles's song 'Blackbird'. A song I've over played for a while now. I love the original version, and I have several cover versions I also over play, and I have to say.. I'm probably going to over play Cameron's version a lot too.

And THIS is the song that got me falling in love with him:

I love, love, love this song as well. And I love his version of it. Just.. *swoon*

(His voice is amazing, and I have a weakness for geeky-hipster-types. Gimme awkward guys any day over overtly-macho-men-types :p I'm weird like that.)

Linger - May you live with no regrets.

2011-09-08T02:52:00.000-07:00

Before you read on.. This was something I wrote a while back.. A long while back. It was actually a gift fic for Ilvan J. Casajid's 20th birthday.. Or as he is known these days - Calvin. One my favourite people in the world. Because he's a good friend, he has an amazing brain, and we giggle together over the strangest things.

His request? For me to write something surreal. And like most things I wrote back in the day - this one ended up as angst. Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

Edited a little, because I'm older and I know better than my 20 year old self. Here goes..!

***

We come with the glitter studded sky, hiding in the soft folds of night.

Unseen. Unheard. Unexpected.

No.

He sees Us. Hears Us. Expects Us. He alone knows, and he alone understands. We've come to haunt. With a grace never seen by Our victims, We'll glide softly through the air, caressing and coaxing all to incoherent insanity. The gentlest hold slowly turning to a choke. None will die, yet all will be scarred.

He smiles. For he believes himself prepared. Delusional fool.

Cocooned in a castle of stone, protected, but never from me, never from Us. No gates will hinder Us, no guards will stop Us. Hidden between paintings great and armours cold, but still We will seek him. And always, We know.. I know where he is.

He is different tonight. I can feel it from his firm footsteps as he strides to his piano, a determination I have not seen for so long so apparent on his weathered face. I'll call her here. His thoughts ring loud and clear. More determined than it has been in years. I've nothing to fear. Not of the dark, not of the deafening silence that comes with her presence, and especially not of her.

His determination amuses Us, and We smile. With a single nod, They leave me, because he is mine. It is not him that They've come for, but he is what I have come here for. He is mine.

As he sits on the soft velvet cushion, it begins.

With every gentle stroke he will remember me.

The golden sunlight of a glorious summer day. The depressed dark of a room shielded by heavy curtains. A tinkling laughter. A heaving sob. The light cheerfulness of a cotton dress. The fragile beauty of a white nightgown. He will remember and so he will weep.

A wispy figure, a fading memory.

He shivers, yet he doesn't stop playing. He knows I am here, as I have been every night for ten years. I approach him softly, my light footsteps lost on thick carpet. He knows it's time.

Softly I stroke his graying hair. Has it been so long already? Dignified lines grace his face, and I mourn my own smooth cheeks, a face that will never be tarnished by wisdom and experience. I kiss the stanger's head, for the man I knew is all but gone. He tries to ignore me. He always does. But he knows he will surrender. Because in the end, it is all he can do.

Resigned to this nightly ritual, he starts.

Note by note, his hands danced, creating a haunting melody, and I shiver in anticipation. His figure lazily sways, betraying the speed of his elegant fingers, flirting to and fro over the ebony and ivory keys. The caress of a lover, deceptively loving, ever hating.

My song. He may hate with all the power that remains within him. But this is my song.

Neither here, nor there, he drifts in memories. Slowly drowning under exquisite torture. For there I was, as he saw me last. Beneath a sky much like tonight, a peaceful dark illuminated by moonlight. A light breeze ruffling the trees, breaking the hold the heat had on us. Stifling. Infuriating. Provoking.

Words, like knives hurtle to and fro. Calculated to sting. Unintended pain. It was the same. Yet different. There were no apologies, even as everything came to a grinding halt. Every joy ignored. Every pain magnified.

The song builds to a crescendo.

An expensive vase, thrown carelessly. Shattering in a cloud of angry white shards. Plummeting to the carpeted floor. A single crash and silence. A threat unheeded. The start of forever.

He whispers once more, enunciating clearly in whispers, words he would never forget.

Die then and leave me be.

Jump and be at peace.

Whine no more, wench.

Anger. There was so much anger. His mind abandons the present completely for the past, as he hears me whisper goodbye once more. Curls that forever frame my face wave in a gesture of farewell as I stand on the ledge, he walks away and doesn't see the tears track down my face.

Goodbye.

Falling.

Fallen.

He turns then, and I remember, floating up, weightless, embraced by Them, as They welcome me to Their fold. They smile and point, him. A broken figure, curled on the floor in grief.

NoNoNoNoNo.

Fascinated I delve more into the voice that echoes endlessly. Ricocheting around the walls and going through me in delicious waves.

Don'tLeaveDon'tLeaveDon'tLeave

They teach me then, guiding my luminescent hands to his heart and taught me. I cradled his heart, unsure of what to do.

They smiled.

They always, always smiled.

Powerful thuds, loud and fast. I stroke with my thumb and I hear quiet whimpers. I looked at Them in wonder. And in turn They guide me, full of tenderness. They tightened my grip.

Squeeze.

He hurts and I smile.

We smile.

Raw anguish. So potent. An intoxicating drug feeding me, encasing my broken heart in steel. I will never leave you. A smile and I gently cradle his heart, squeezing harder and harder still with every moment that passes, he sobs but he doesn't stop.

He can't stop.

With bleeding fingers he will play. With frostbite damaged nerves, he will play. I love you…

Forcefully he ends the song. Head no longer light, determination no longer present. He leans forward, refusing to see me. A pathetic broken figure of a man.

It matters not. My presence here is not out of wish to be seen, only to be felt. He acknowledges me by anticipation of pain, it is enough. I release him and bid him good night, leaving a tender kiss upon his pale lips.

I am regret. I am guilt. I am remorse. And I will never leave you.

Door-knocking

2011-08-15T02:30:00.000-07:00

So.. I wrote this over a week ago, with the intent of posting it on this very blog:

"You know when you’re heart is beating so hard that you can feel the veins in your neck grotesquely pulsing, and just about every part of you is in pain as your stomach clenches nervously..? Yes. That.

By nature I am not a very brave person. I’m actually rather like the cowardly Lion. I’d rather hide behind the ginger kid, serving her up as a sacrificial lamb rather than face anything remotely scary head on.

To be fair, I’ve been told ginger kids are supposed to be sacrificial lambs.

Aha! Forgive me, I’ve just broken my fast, and my inner snark is itching to be released.

But to be serious..

I am rather cowardly."

The feeling of being petrified passed, but I thought it'd be a shame not to share my utter terror over sending a simple email. Yes. Sending an email.

To be fair the email may or may not change my life for the better, but still - it was only an email.

Change does terrify me though, which is weird.. Considering I moved a lot as a kid, and saying hello in front of a large classroom full of curious eyes happened at least once every three or so years. But it seems that along the way, the mere notion of change freezes me up.

It's one of those things I'm trying to deal with - wish me luck!

Knocking on doors shouldn't be too hard, right?

I'm really sorry that I occasionally serve up really annoying, cryptic posts. ;)

Bags ahoy!

2011-06-22T22:57:00.000-07:00

And not the type I'm obsessed over either. Talking about bags under my eyes, great, big, black bags that make me look like I've not slept in years.

Below is a very careful, very accurate picture of me:

Although I was informed that the hair was nowhere near curly enough to resemble me. So this was my second attempt:

I'm guessing it's still not curly enough, as my hair has the tendency to frazzle under stress. Not that I'm stressed. I don't think I am anyhoo.

I just REALLY need to be at the beach. NOW.

I was over at The Dork's house (hence known as D or Dork) the other day with Bee (buzz buzz), The Overachiever (hence known as TO), and Quin.. And we were having fun, just relaxing, watching a movie that seemingly went no where.. Well, I say 'we'. They watched the movie, I fell asleep about a quarter of the way in. It was SO NICE.

I miss bumming around so much. Jakarta is.. hectic. I love this city but I always feel like I'm hurtling towards something. Even in traffic I feel rushed.

I just need a quick weekend getaway.

I. Must. Stop, Downloading. Pr0n

2011-05-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

Bet that got your attention.

I blew my load a little early on this particular post. Pretty much anything I'll say after this will sound boring. So ADIEU!

*floats away quite elegantly*

(My blog seems rather abandoned lately. I felt obligated to post.)

A random awesome person in this random awesome world

2011-04-14T02:01:00.000-07:00

Around 2 years ago, I was faffing around on the internets, all broken hearted and sad and generally not feeling all that great, and I stumbled upon An Awesome Book.. click the link! In fact.. look at the cover of the book, and you wont be able to resist clicking this link!

I don't remember how I found it, but I was there and it cheered me up infinitely. It's such a wonderful little book about dreaming, and dreaming big, and never stopping. I loved it so much that I stalked the author to his blog and wrote an email to him, saying I hope he never stops. And he apparently never did (nothing to do with my email, I'm very sure!)..

A day or two ago I received a notification from twitter of someone requesting to 'follow' me, it was Mr. Dallas Clayton himself! Not sure what I clicked, but I declined his invite, but I went over to his page anyways, and I was reminded once more of how much I enjoyed his writing, and short illustrated poetry on his blog. So off I went once more, and it was just as fun as it was back then!

I like finding random awesome things on the internet :) To everyone who finds only misery on the web, it's obvious that this is because they never go about looking for the fun and wonderful things it offers! I'm constantly stumbling over absurdly creative people, whose brains I want to pick, and gorgeous, gorgeous minds that I end up befriending.

So yes. Dallas Clayton. And his Awesome Book. I want to buy it, and the cute dinosaur poster up on his site.. Which I'll definitely do next pay check.

Jimmy Eat World, Mousey Eat Liver

2011-03-25T00:55:00.000-07:00

*cough* That's a very lame joke by the way, 'eat liver' is an Indonesian saying which basically means 'annoyed'.. It has nothing to do with this post, I just thought I'd share the very lame joke which I keep putting up because.. Drum roll please!

JIMMY EAT WORLD IS COMING TO JAKARTA!

F*CK YEAH!

.. Pardon my French, but yes. I'm super excited, because I'm a huge fan. I'm dragging along my evil twin to the gig because he's an awesome guy who said yes when I begged him.

Jimmy Eat World brings about the happy memories of listening to tapes at at a deafening volume, riding my bike after school, angsting over silly teenage things. They stayed with me as I spent nights driving with the music blaring (still at a deafening volume), while I drive through the cold, empty roads in Bandung at night.. Every album has it's own meaning for me, so yes.. I'm just a tiny bit excited.

.. The gig is April 3rd, and my heart has been beating a little faster at seeing them live ever since I first heard that they were coming.

Yes, I'm prone to exaggerating, and being dramatic. See this huge smile -> =D ..? It's 100 times larger in real life.

Dear J,

2011-03-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple of months since I last thought of you.

I don't think I ever voiced my thoughts about you to anyone before. But today I feel like the world should hear about a wonderful soul that left way too early.

Do you remember when we first met? I don't. Not really. My memories of you are fading, and you'll never know how much that bothers me. I can't remember your eyes anymore. Were they squinty or wide? They never look right when I try to imagine your face again. If I try really hard, I think I can remember the sound of your voice, calling my name. I always thought you were a late bloomer because your voice hadn't fully broke yet, but there were hints of how your voice would sound when you laughed.

You know, one of the best memories I have with you is of you, me and Rhesa laughing because all three of us were failing both Maths AND Physics. Remember how we had competitions on who'd get the best score on quizzes? And how we never passed a quiz, yet there was always a clear winner.. That was fun! I don't remember how you reacted when I said that I was dating Rhesa, but I can still remember your huge grin when you smiled and said "he still REALLY likes you!" when we broke up sometime after.

I can still see your hair. That's weird, right? That I can still clearly see that hair, when it frustrates me that I can't remember much else about your appearance other that your lips and hair. Your semi-mohawk. Not because you were trying to be cool, you didn't even do it deliberately! Your hair just grew weird like that.

But seriously, I miss the way you laughed.

My memories of you in our first year of high school is filled with laughter and high fives and those few weeks that you first dissappeared. Did I try calling you? Did I text you? I don't remember anymore. But you were suddenly gone, and no one knew where you went. I must have looked for you, right? I must have..??? Because school was weird without you. And you know I don't get along with the girls in our class. You disappeared sometime before the epic fight between me and the girls happened. It was.. funny. You would have enjoyed it, I think.

I'm sorry that I wasn't really around for you when you came back. But I just didn't understand. And you were in a different class. And you kept disappearing again. I remember people talking about you. How they didn't like it that you kept disappearing in the middle of a week-long group assignment. I tried telling them that you were always responsible and that you wouldn't have left without a good reason. And I always looked forward to seeing you permanently-covered head bobbing past my classroom doors.

I wondered about your hats. And your sudden weight gain, but we were in high school, and people's physical appearance changed fast. I wondered, and I know you tried to tell me once.. I'm sorry I didn't listen. When you said "Hey you know last night's Julia Roberts movie? Dying Young?", I knew instantly, I wanted so badly to un-hear it. I was f*cking scared. I didn't let you finish and we spoke about classes instead.

I'm sorry I walked away before I could hug you.

I'm sorry I'm such a shitty friend.

Some stuff went down that year. And I left Bandung. I never got to see you again, and that will always be one of my biggest regrets.

Hey J.. I was devastated when someone casually mentioned you had passed away. She went to your church, and she said you got sick again. I don't remember how I reacted to the news, but I remember how I cried that night. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. You deserve a better friend.

Do you know I still think of you? Every few months. And I wonder what you would have become had your cancer gone into remission. I think you would have gone into IT or something related to computers. I don't know why, as I don't even remember if you were any good with computers. We wouldn't be in regular contact, because you know what I'm like.. But we'd drop each other lines from time to time. I imagine you would have grown into your thick, pouty lips, and your strange semi-mohawk. Your laughter would be loud and joyful, and that grin.. That grin of yours that lit up the room, it would have gotten you a really cute girlfriend. That much I'm sure.

I think of you at the strangest time.. like when I'm driving to work.. and always there's a pang, and a flashback of you laughing. Of all the things I'll forget in the coming years, I hope your laughter wont be one of them.

So J, I hope that somewhere out there you feel loved. You still have people that care, who think of you from time to time. The world lost out on a lot when you went.

Much love,
A.

My life in books: How it all started.

2011-03-07T19:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I read a fantastic book. It was.. amazing. I'll talk about that one another day, as it deserves some special attention. It had many fantastic passages, and so many lovely tid-bits to quote, but one that made me think was this tiny bit about people never forgetting That First Book.

You know - the one that started it all. That got you thinking that this reading lark is fun. It mentioned that you'll never forget that book, and it got me thinking about my very own First Book, and how I could mark out my life, in books. So this will be the first of many posts about books, and what they mean to me.

I've been an avid reader for as long as I can remember. I remember rushing home to read Donald Duck comics under a shady tree, or sneaking into my brother's room to grab his copy of STOP, and Archie comics, and reading encyclopedias by torch light (I know. Geek.).. But my First Book was this little gem:

Jacqueline Wilson's The Suitcase Kid.

It was the start of winter, the year was 1994, and I was 8 years old, estranged in this wonderful new place, with lots of pale kids running around. My perma-Asian-tan was a novelty, and so was my accent. It was Reading Time, and since I didn't have a book with me, I was given a trip to the library and this was the first of many books I would borrow from the school.

I don't remember who recommended it to me.. Was it Amy or Hazel (my first friends at St. Sid's!) or was it the lady helping out at the library? Either way, magic happened the moment I sat down in my little plastic chair in front of Mrs. Bushin's table. I picked it up and was immediately thrown into Andy's world. A child of divorce, Andrea (ANDY!) bounced from one home to another, dealing with step-siblings and strange family dynamics. The book is divided quaintly into 26 chapters, each starting with a letter from the alphabet.. A is for.. B is for.. etc. And I couldn't get enough.

My own parents were happily married, so I couldn't possible understand what this girl was going through.. But as long as I had that book in my hand, I felt like I knew exactly what she was feeling, and I was her friend.

The book had given the key to this whole other world, and upon finishing the book, I couldn't wait to get another chance to visit the library. If I liked reading before, I was positively in love with it after this book. It's not 'the best children's book EVER WRITTEN!!one!11!one!!', but it was one that opened my eyes to this whole other world where literally anything could happen.

I don't think I realized the significance this book would hold in my life, but looking back now.. The stuff I read before were probably not age/reading-ability-appropriate, and so I couldn't digest it as well as I could Ms. Wilson's book. And revisiting my old haunts now, I still love them very much, but The Suitcase Kid has a Very Special place in my heart as my First Book.

After Ms. Wilson, there was Mr. Dahl, Mr. Lewis, and Ms. Smith to occupy my time, and after that there was a whole brigade of authors, but The Suitcase Kid had been my key to the world of words. And I'll be forever grateful.

And I have to ask - what was yours???

.. to be continued .. :)

Oh 27th of Feb, you were fantastic this year..!

2011-02-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

Damn you, facebook!

2011-02-19T06:11:00.000-08:00

I moved around a lot as a kid, different cities, different countries (okay, to be fair there has only ever been two countries), different friends. And I loved every minute of it. I'm always terrified starting somewhere new, I'd get a bout of this horrible, crippling, stomach wrenching feeling of complete and utter helplessness. But there's always, always, always, someone there. Always. That one girl or boy who'd give a confident grin, someone who'd take my hands and share a book with me, or ask me if I wanted a snack. Sometimes it was just a shared smile over someone else's stupidity. And that single moment in time would cement my love of this strange, new place.

More often than not, I'd end up making other new friends, and that initial contact is soon forgotten. And these friends I made - I always thought I'd keep them for life.

On the one hand, I love how facebook got me reconnected with them, letting me glimpse into their life again. But that's just it - it's just a glimpse. It's not a real connection, and sometimes it's just not enough. I miss the people I knew, but I know those people on facebook... the ones posing with their kids, or in togas, or travelling the world.. I don't know them. And when the mood hits, I feel like shit.

It also feels extra awful when it's a fairly recent connection.

I saw a picture today. A friend who smiled. And I wondered how they were doing.

Rivermaya and Bryce from Lifehouse

2011-01-08T22:45:00.000-08:00

Arthur's Day, 4th Dec 2010,
Jakarta, Indonesia

Rivermaya.

Bryce Soderberg, Lifehouse.
More muted version posted here.

Images, mine. Crossposted at my deviantArt

.warmth.

2011-01-08T22:43:00.000-08:00

She wanders the streets alone,
Little head bobbing up and down,
Bike pausing now and then,
The warmth of the sun on her back,
The stickiness of ice cream coating her fingers,
Long gone, long consumed,
Nothing could be better,
Nothing could be more perfect,
My little summer girl.

Image and words, mine. Crossposted at my deviantArt

.my silly kite.

2011-01-08T22:41:00.000-08:00

Oh what's the use of holding on..!?
For nowt but burns I have earned,
Though I tried with all my might,
My kite has flown quite as sight..!

Pastels and markers, March 2009
Crossposted at my deviantArt

Time floated away

2010-12-18T12:49:00.000-08:00

(Bryce Soderberg of Lifehouse, Arthur's Day, Jakarta, Indonesia. 4th Dec 2010. A version with colours more vivid is cross posted on my deviantarts page. Variations of the pic will be published in the January issue of Nylon Guys Indonesia)

His voice is raspy as he sings along to the radio, and hums fill the gaps where he doesn't quite remember the words. It is all she hears, driving 13o km/h down the highway. He turns to her and smiles, all soft and sweet and girly. She wants to tease him, but instead she grins. And for a moment he is blinded.

Tomorrow brings threats not yet delivered. But they have no prior knowledge, and for this one moment in time, their lives are perfect.

And they are in love.

Whaddap ma hommiiiieeesss!

2010-11-26T20:40:00.000-08:00

Said in my accent, it sounds kinda.. off.

Anyhoo.

Relaxing on a gorgeous Saturday morning with a steaming mug of hot cocoa. Wish I had something stronger to lace it with. Mmmm.. *cough* Where was I? Oh yes. Sun. Sun is shinning all bright and pretty, the water in the pool is glistening deliciously, and it's just begging me to come on and take a dip. And where am I? I'm blogging in my parent's air conditioned room, because I really don't want to go to my untouched, super duper messy, shipwreck of a room.

Why am I blogging?

Because apparently I don't do enough writing at work.

No that's not it..

Because I can..! I'm reveling at the luxury of being able to do what I want to, when I want to. Oh the joy of weekends! That, and I have a laser-tag game to get to in about an hour or two. Baby cousin's birthday! I say 'baby', she's 10.. And she's turning into quite the little terror. I love her to bits, but I didn't own that much make up till I was.. 11? 12? Haha. I was going to say 15, but then I realised I started to wear nail polish and make up to school everyday when I was 12.. That stopped when I came back to Indonesia *waves fist at oppresive schools around the country*.

So really we're not all that different. But wait! I didn't have two super awesome 20-something cousins when I was her age. Ah well.. Hugs baby girl, you're all grown up..!

I realize I'm rambling.

But Saturdays are warm and soft and safe. You can't help but be a little wistful, and ramble a little, spitting out every single thing you can think of.. And really, this whole writing out my thought as-they-come-by thing is uber nice. Maybe not for those who end up reading it, but certainly for me.

Yes, my thoughts are really quite inconsequential most of the times.

You should feel lucky that I'm just rambling and my brain isn't serving up some inane questions that I have no answers too. It does that a lot. The significance of cheeseburgers in friendship for instance..

No. I won't go there.

I think I shall go forth and shower now.

Ciao! Adieu! Goodbye dear hearts!

So. Feckin'. Tired.

2010-11-25T10:37:00.000-08:00

I think I'm starting to develop this bad habit of enjoying my job just a little too much.

I'm swamped. I run around all day, calling people up, setting up interviews, setting up photoshoots, looking up prices, looking for stock photos.. etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

An (un..?)fortunate side effect is I've begun to have favourite.. things. Chairs, lamps, designers.. etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. It feels quite bizarre to be walking along and then suddenly coo at tiles. I coo. At tiles. I'll say it again - I coo at tiles.

This may be my exhaustion taking over me, but I just can't stop laughing at this fact..!

And this.. this is my favouritest most favourite chair. I want one so bad..!

Eames Eiffel Plastic Armchair.

But this being tired thing is ridiculous. I have no time for anything.. And it's stand-up comedy DVD season! I MUST FIND SOME STAND UP DVDs SOON!

Oh heartbreak!

2010-11-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

Isn't it just pretty? Just absolutely gorgeous? I want my Furrow eco friendly leather bag in navy blue (yes, that's the name..*wails*). A seller going by the name of Hoakon/Helga at etsy sells these absolutely breathtaking leather bags from repurposed materials, old leather jackets reimagined into pretty bags, with pretty linings (yes, also repurposed if possible.).. Eco friendly, and pretty, and durable! What more can a girl want?

Unfortunately mine got lost in the mail. At least I think it did.

It's been a month, but I'm not giving up! I'm going to go over and see if they've kept it for some insane reason.

I've never had problems with shipping as I have purchased many, many things from etsy (okay so 10 isn't exactly 'many', but yes.), but lately the Indonesian post has been.. shall we say.. 'moody'? 'PMS-ing'? Point is, this is my second shipment that's gone weird. Grrr.

Wait. Third. Counting a shirt and Twix(es?) the wonderful A sent me. I also want my shirt and my Twix!

I'm not exaggerating by tagging this post as 'the horrible feeling of woe', as this is extremely woeful to me. My heart is breaking at the thought of not getting this wonderful bag.

No. I'm not a drama queen.

*sulks in a corner*

lucky break for the lucky b*tch

2010-10-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

I'm one of those annoying people who always manages to land on her feet, gracefully, in a pair of gorgeous Louboutins, not a hair out of place, not a drop of sweat on my face.

Well figuratively. Because in person, I'm rather ungraceful. I have two left feet, and my idea of landing gracefully is just about managing to stay upright, with my limbs intact (my knees have a nasty habit of dislocating itself).

But I digress.

A long time ago, when I was a wee highschooler, I wanted to get into English Lit. or Interior Design. My mother dissuaded me from English Lit. because 1.) I knew most of the lecturers from the faculty of the uni I wanted to get into. 2.) Not only did they know me, they were also my babysitters, as mum had a habit of dragging me to work so we can spend time together. And 3.) She thought I'd get frustrated if asked to dissect books and/or authors I love (I don't see why, we do this anyway!)..

And Design.. Well.. My brother went into Product Design. He managed to drill into me that Product Design was way cooler than Interior Design. And one day I sneaked into his room while he was working and realized I didn't burn for it the way he did. My brother was (and still is) a cranky person when forced to do what he doesn't want to, so to see him so.. happy and excited bent over a pile of papers, surrounded by books.. Well. I knew it just wasn't for me.

But all I wanted to do was write. All I ever wanted to do was write (and be an archeologist, but that's another story all together)..

So I chose Product Design. And put 'writing' to the back of my mind. I didn't get accepted though. D'uh. (I can't draw or create for shit).. Luckily I had International Relations as a back up plan. Well not so much a 'back up plan' as a 'I-accidentally-applied-because-my-friend-said-it-was-fun' kind of thing.

When I saw what would be in store for me, I was terrified. And absolutely horrified. Economy? Law? Politics!? It just wasn't me.

So imagine my surprise when I enjoyed the classes. I was still crap at economy, and barely managed to pass those classes, but I was surprisingly pleased with all the subjects that contained 'law' in the names. A's all around for law. And politics.. politics was fun. The analyzing, the poking and prodding.. FUN. I ended up loving it.

It took me a while to graduate though, and yes, at one point I was so frustrated that I wish I never touched politics at all. But hey - I got through it.

Then comes work.

I stumbled into a job as an editor (slash photographer, slash stylist, slash art director, slash anything they can make me do, they'll send me off to do it).. Met some amazing people, got into a truckload of interesting situations.. And lamented the pay.

Anyone who works in the media in Indonesia will confirm how shit the pay is. Especially for fresh grads.

But I was writing for a living! WRITING. And get this - I was working in an interior design magazine! How frakkin' awesome was that? 15 year old me would be so impressed. And 9 year old me would just be shitting herself. WRITING!

The thing is, I worked two magazines, the interior design and the other one is a men's fashion magazine. I never thought I'd be into fashion, especially men's fashion.. But it really is fun! And I don't know if I should be proud or ashamed of the fact I can recognize the brand of certain bags, and the season in which they came out.

Yes. Well. Anyway. Here comes the super duper lucky b*tch bit..

My ex-semi-boss dude recently 'migrated' to another magazine, and I went along with him. With a pay increase.

Super duper lucky b*tch indeed. :)

My new job starts in November. So wish me luck dear hearts. I'm living my dream.

Things I learnt in uni..

2010-10-16T19:46:00.000-07:00

I wrote this ages ago, but I never got around to posting it.. So here goes! Enjoy!

***

Move in with people you don’t really know. Because it might be hard to stay friends with someone once you move in with them, but it’s inevitable that you befriend the people you live with.

Pay your bills on time, and move out before your lease runs out.

Establish lines very early on. If you don’t like sharing, it should be known from the start.

Thin walls and thin floors make for funny stories.

Being drunk in public is never as fun as being drunk in your own place.

Midnight talks are reserved for those stories which involve the opposite sex. And the absence of at least a shirt. Oh yeah, you know what stories I’m talking about.

If you can’t drive, don’t be a bitch to the people who can. Seriously.

Roadtrips should be short and sweet, and the routes never repeated.

Know when to walk away, and when you should open your mouth and call someone out on their own bullshit. Pick your friends carefully.

Painting a room is always fun. DIY brings people closer together.

Don’t get stuck in one ‘circle of friends’, jump around and meet as many people as possible. You won’t feel obliged to be nice to everyone that way, and you’ll have this awesome group of friends you can’t wait to introduce to one another.

You don’t need to be friends with someone from the beginning, and you don’t have to know every single detail of someone’s live to adore them, and think of them as your best friends.

Good friends tell you things will be alright. Awesome friends tell you that you’ve been a complete idiot, and things are shitty because it’s your own fault. So get off your fat ass and do something about it.

Leave when you need to. Come back when you’re ready. People will understand.

You don’t need to spend three days on an assignment as long as what you’re writing is structured, and gets to the point straight away. (I rarely meet the target amount of words. Mine are always missing 500 or so words. And the only time I got a B was when my Granddad died.)

Pick a subject to be sucky in, and then excel on the others.

Noodles are delicious. Especially when eaten with eggs, cheese and corned beef. But eating it every meal time for a week will get you sick.

Midnight runs for food should be appreciated. You will never have as much fun, eating out at ungodly hours as when you’re in uni.

IKEA is a bad place to eat “cookies”.

Good boyfriends make awesome exes. Shitty boyfriends should be drowned at sea.

Sugar highs are really as bad as getting drunk.

Food always tastes better when you’re fighting over it.

You should skinny dip at least once. Hot springs are better than normal pools.

That's Life Coffee

2010-10-12T03:59:00.000-07:00

So today I did a quick photo shoot of That's Life Coffee, a cool place owned by kak Arris who's a friend of my brother's. Look up his blog - it made me melt. I wish I could create stuff like that.

ANYWAYS.

I've been hearing about That's Life for a while now. First from my brother (obviously), and from my friends as well, as they seem to regularly hang out there. And for some reason or another, I've not found time yet. Until today.

image: MINE. I took it! Will appear on the November edition of Home and Decor Indonesia, in the Food Notes section.

Oh oh oh. It was perfect. Small and cosy and warm and friendly and just.. lovely. The decor was neat, unpretentious and pretty. I did a long slow exhale the moment I stepped in. A really happy long slow exhale.

I was afraid I wouldn't be able to capture the atmosphere, but I think I did a pretty good job. And a huge part of it is because of Aldy, the designer that works with me on the mag. He did a fantastic job editing! Don't the pictures just look perfect? I have the biggest EVER smile on my face right now.

image: again, MINE. Kthxbai! :)

The food was good, the price affordable. And the coffee - exactly the pick me up I needed. And the cherry on top of it all? I absolutely adore how the pictures have turned out!

Dream on darling

2010-10-09T10:44:00.001-07:00

Today I went to the European Higher Education Fair held at Balai Kartini. Oh oh oh.. My whole body aches with the sheer force of WANT that slammed into my chest.

I've been thinking about applying for a master's degree for a while now (yes even before I graduated my from my bachelor degree).. And attending the fair made me want it just that much more.

BUT.

Work. Oh I do so love my work. So. I'm putting education on hold just for a little while. Soon enough I'll get back to it, but for now I'm working hard, saving up, and I'm going to do some proper planning.

But I'm dreaming on, I really am. I'm keeping it close to my heart and I'm feeding logs to the fire, to keep the fire burning.

Thou shalt not complain

2010-09-29T02:49:00.000-07:00

I have it pretty good, what with doing a job I like 90% of the time, with people I adore 90% ofthe time. Work buddies I can hang out with after work, drag out to see movies and plays and music gigs, eat out with, and kidnap for quick weekend getaways.

Can I do better job-wise? Probably. But emotionally, I'm in a good place.

Idiots who bother me shall be ignored, and the hardships endured.

I have it good.

Other than my salary (oh lordy the salary..), this was my choice. I applied, I accepted.

Suck it up darling. Life is good.

I shan't complain. :)

Working on writing again.

2010-09-24T02:27:00.000-07:00

The air wasn't any less stifling, and I didn't find it any easier to breathe.

Everything was the same, I could still hear the desperate sobbing I've heard for days, and the twisted hands on sweat drenched sheets were still white and worryingly thin.

There were no sparks or explosions.

It was just a quiet 'click' and the overwhelming desire to close my eyes.

Exorcising demons

2010-09-13T07:40:00.000-07:00

.. I'm trying to sleep, but I spent the past hour refusing to shut my eyes because last night's nightmare was.. terrifying.

It wasn't chilling. It didn't leave me shaking. but it was just terrifying.

The details escape me now, but I was basically living one day over and over again. Wake up, make sure my two brothers are up, usher them to the kitchen, feed them, run to school. Wake up, make sure my two brothers are up, usher them to the kitchen, feed them, run to school. Over and over again.

I had become so confident in the routine that I did it with my eyes half closed.

Then the dream suddenly skipped back a night.

It showed my house, which was nice, and had a beautiful glass roof. Conveniently located next to a gothic-style church, which apparently - my parents take care of.

I understood that it was Halloween, and my mother was apprehensive about the night because 14 years before, someone dived off the highest tower and landed right in front of her. She hated Halloween ever since. And chaperoning little girls who kept running around to see the church's towers, with no fear of heights, was not her idea of fun.

I assured her that all was well and the night passed uneventfully.

So came the next day.

Wake up, make sure my two brothers are up, usher them to the kitchen, feed them, run to school.

Which I did with a smile, because something inside me was singing happily, telling me the dream was almost over.

So just as we were about to run off to school, I stopped. I dug my hands in a sack of flour and stood there frozen. Saying something over and over again..

"Please no. Don't jump. Nonononono. Please don't."

My mum and two brothers looked at me, half curious, but mostly confused. Mum reached towards me and it was at that moment I jammed my fingers in my ears and screamed. I can feel the flour in my ears, and I remember the whoosh of a heavy object landing behind me. And screaming.

Lots of screaming. Two little boys screaming endlessly, terrified. My mum choking out short bursts of alarm. And my own.

The worst sound was the stranger's scream - which stopped the moment the glass roof broke.

And amidst the chaos, I remember thinking 'An angel must have done it. An angel must have forced me to live this day over and over till I could go through it without thought. Getting my timing just right.' Because had I been late just a minute - The girl would have fallen while I looked on. Or worse - she would have fallen on top of me.

And then I woke up.

I couldn't get back to sleep. I was terrified.

And every time I closed my eyes, I'd see the same girl falling. Off buildings. Off mountains. Off airplanes.

And now I can't sleep. I'm still terrified.

EID MUBARAK!

2010-09-10T10:32:00.000-07:00

To all and sundry, if I have wronged you in any way, please forgive me :)

So.

Today I count my blessings.

Choices

2010-09-03T00:58:00.000-07:00

If you lived two lives, not quite understanding which is real.. which would you pick?

- A perfect world with everything you ever wanted within reach, with loved ones expecting nothing from you but your continued happiness or..
- A world where you had to fight for everything, and your failure will result in their suffering..?

Hang on.. I'm not done yet, don't make your mind up yet.

Keep in mind you have to pick one, and in picking one.. you will have to leave the other completely, disappointing the people you leave behind.

Remember - you don't know which world is real.

Yes, I've been watching/reading/thinking too much of scifi and fantasy stuff.

And the mindfuck is supremely delicious.

hum ho, here it is again.

2010-08-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Person,

I feel stupid for writing a letter to you, as it is quite obvious to even the the stupidest person that you will never read this stupid letter. And even if you do, I think it's pretty obvious that you'd think I was being stupid.

Stupidity aside..

You were absolutely right. You were right about things I wish you weren't right about, and you were right about things that I thought you got wrong, but time has eventually revealed that you were right about.. we.. everything, all along. It's really quite annoying the number of times you've been proven right, and the number of times you could have said 'I told you so'. Oh Person, I'm glad you're not (really) the gloating type.

So.

Person, you really are quite swell. Oh you're not perfect, there's a million and one things that piss me off that I wish I could tell you about.. But you know that that just isn't possible. And anyway, you really are quite fine the way you are.

But that's not what this entry is about. Oh no.

Here it is in a nutshell.. You were right, and I was wrong. And the number of times this has happened may have made me quite frustrated and quite unable to seek second opinions.

BUT.

Ah here's the but..

BUT.. I think I'm good now. I mean, obviously The Matter Which We Discussed has not been solved yet, but yesterday I found myself knocking on a door to ask about The Matter Which We Discussed for a second opinion. There was no one home unfortunately, but nevertheless I knocked.

And I felt good about knocking. I may knock on more doors in the coming weeks.

I would like to say that I can knock now, and I shan't rely on your sole opinion (important thought it is), rest easy, Person.

I'm quite alright.

So it's done..

2010-08-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

My under-grad thesis is done, it's been tried and tested. I graduate with a shiny 'A'.

Thank you all and sundry :)

people peeple pepple

2010-07-31T07:08:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's time to lay down the title of 'Awkward Fucker'. No. Not as in a sexual fuck, but as in 'person'.

Let me explain.. The thing is, I'm not as chatty in real life, nor as eloquent (if you can consider my blog eloquent), nor as witty (please, just humor me :p).. I've been known to fumble my way through social situations, babble incoherently at strangers and sometimes I just smile, cock my head to the side and pretend like I know what's going on. Hence 'Awkward Fucker'. I try to avoid meeting new people unless I have to and when I stumble into things.. I'm.. well.. Awkward. With a capital A.

Was.

Sort of.

I'm not suddenly a social butterfly, but I think I've gotten better. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but these days I enjoy meeting new people. LE GASP. Maybe it's experience, maybe it's my job (which forces me to communicate well with strangers), or maybe I'm finally maturing into one of those people who can talk to other people without wanting to puke, like.. you know.. NORMAL people.

I hear normal people socialize without wanting to run and hide away in a cave somewhere.

I think I'm turning 'normal'. Mwaha.

I'm liking this (somewhat) recent development. Fingers crossed it's not just a phase. Because really - people aren't so bad. (Especially if they've been selected by my trusted friends, and I've been told they were exceptionally fun. And so far, none of my friends have failed me and introduced me to a freak who wants to sniff my cat and pee in my garden.)

Oh. And by 'meeting people' I don't mean for romantic purposes.. Just.. meeting people in general..!

The long dark tea time of the soul..

2010-07-25T04:39:00.000-07:00

I've recently encountered problems in my professional life, one which I had taken for granted I would never have met, considering the awesomeness of my immediate work-buddies.

They're a fabulous bunch, and I really was fond of every one. Which I've been told is a rare thing to happen in an office.

Not to say that everything was perfect, but the people.. the people were fantastic.

A couple of posts ago I lamented the fact that a few of them were leaving, albeit obscurely.. but yes. I wasn't happy. Then new people came into the office and balance was restored. Before a horrible storm brewed up and these people were taken away from me again. Which truth be told, pissed me off a lot, hence the long dark tea time of the soul which resulted in posts which were not to my usual standard of happy, chirpy, cheery posts.

I can't say that things are better, not by far (if anything it's getting worse).. But I can say I've made up my mind not to let it bother me anymore than it already has.

And hey, there are things going for me now which make me really happy.

So I shan't complain anymore.

Just wanted to drop by to say that.

--- end Long Dark Tea Time Of The Soul ---

Hearts a-crying.

2010-07-05T21:28:00.000-07:00

It was raining five minutes ago.

18 floors up it looked like Jakarta had been gassed. A misty cloud obscures the streets from view while unforgiving pellets shoot at the window, making everything that little bit harder to see. Now.. Now the sky is dull, like a white wall that's seen too many childish hands.

Uncomfortable, unsettled and extremely uninspired.

Or maybe that's just me, projecting my moods.

It's cold and I'm tired.

Grey.. Tired and wired and mean..*

2010-06-17T02:02:00.000-07:00

*The Weepies - "Gotta Have You"

Subtext! I LOVE subtext! Mostly because I never quite seem to be able to say what I mean.

Picked the song because that line basically represents how I'm feeling at the moment. Exhaustion is.. Ever present, and it doesn't look like it's going to go away anytime soon. Lesigh.

My job is as ever.. Tiring. Sometimes a good kind of tired, and sometimes the thought of collapsing on my bed is the only thing keeping me going. Ho humm. Such is life I guess. Ups and downs, and the hula-hoop goes 'round and 'round.

Red eyes and fire and signs,

I'm taken by a nursery rhyme,

I want to make a ray of sunshine, and never leave home..

Wish I could stay home. For a while longer. But.. Meh. I've met a lot of wonderful people, and I've learnt so much, so I shan't complain.

Anyways. What about that Ariel and Luna Maya and Cut Tari sex vids, eh?

How mousey got her groove back, or The ode to an omelette

2010-06-06T10:23:00.001-07:00

I always go into it thinking that it's going to be a quick, painless, rather joyful burst of fulfillment. It's never like that though. Never.

There's always the drama of crying over spilled milk, the question of going at it traditionally or maybe trying something a little bit more exciting. And then there's the issue about timing. I'm one of those pesky individuals who have to time everything just so. It has to be right, or I just.. leave.

I don't understand why it can't ever be simple. But then again, once you acquire a taste for it..

It's just too hard to let well enough alone.

*

Yes, I am literally talking about an omelette. No, it doesn't refer to anything else.
And yes. I am that fussy about omelettes.
Yes, REALLY.

The title may have been inspired by a fanfic somewhere.

Gone

2010-05-09T10:41:00.000-07:00

They left.

One by one they left. Leaving behind scratches and scraps, remnants of something that was once so beautiful. So perfect.

And here I am. Alone.

Restless but unmoving. A dead weight on the bed as my eyes madly trace imaginary patterns on the white washed walls, desperately trying to focus on one single thing. My hands lay numb by my sides, twitching every so often, wanting.. needing to move.

Nothing is holding me down but I'm paralyzed.

They're gone. The beautiful creations of man that I once happily drowned myself in.

The words are gone, and my thoughts are tangled and caught in a web of confusion, an incoherent mess with no end.

For the first time in so long, I'm alone.

I swear. The words are gone and I'm feeling lonely and somewhat lost. I used to write so much shit and it was all stupid and wonderful and frustratingly addictive. But I can't anymore. And yes, it makes me sad.

Oh how quickly the laughter fades

2010-04-30T01:51:00.000-07:00

Wonderful, wonderful people, can't you stay forever?
Or just a little while longer?

I do so hate to say goodbye.

Life is life is life.

2010-04-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

The History Boys is a play by Alan Bennet which was adapted into a movie back in 2006. There was one thing that stuck with me.. A quote about history which Rudge, one of the characters said;

How do I define history? It's just one fuckin' thing after another.

And that.. perfectly sums up what I think life is. A series of events which sometimes overlap. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a practical way of viewing life. I can always compare it to other things - rollercoasters being the most common one, or maybe a box of chocolates (thank you, Forrest Gump), but at the end of the day it is indeed - one fuckin' thing after another.

When all the words in the world can't quite say it...

2010-04-07T03:49:00.000-07:00

+ . +

Be warned.. SQUEE POST!

2010-04-05T01:26:00.001-07:00

Squee according to urban dictionary;
A noise primarily made by an over-excited fangirl.

So. New episodes of Doctor Who featuring Matt Smith as the eleventh Doctor, complete with a new TARDIS and a new sonic screwdriver.

But before I start, I have to admit that I only got into Doctor Who a couple of months ago, starting on Chris Eccleston's ninth Doctor. So I'm no expert on the minute details of the TARDIS, the Doctor's mannerisms etc.. This squee post is from a new fan's point of view, please don't clobber my n00b-ness.

Lesse.. I wasn't all that enthusiastic on Eleven's first appearance when he replaced Ten, in fact I thought it was a bit too over the top. Mind you, I'm a big fan of David Tennant's tenth Doctor, and I was sort of still teary eyed over his reluctance to regenerate. So yes.

And then came the months of waiting, until finally this appeared;

I have to say I was a little bit intrigued. But as always, I never trust trailers. (Insert a call back to my horror at the Star Trek movie trailer.)

And then FINALLY. The Eleventh Hour. The introductory episode for Eleven.

Matt Smith as Eleven : I loved how he was sort of a little bit Ten, but still managing to be different. I loved the lines the writers gave him and the outfit.. works. The stills looked odd, but after seeing the episode and how he carried it off, the outfit definitely works for him. And his 'what, what? WHAT?' made me squee a little.. okay a lot. On the whole, I really did like him.

Amy Pond : I loved loved loved the little kid who played mini-Amy! She was adorable and sweet and perfect. Was also very taken with adult-Amy. I loved the details in Amy's life - her job, her trips to see the shrink, the Raggedy-Doctor things she made, and how everyone knew of the Raggedy-Doctor, recognizing him on sight. And her boyfriend - I predict funny things from Nurse Rory.

TARDIS and the sonic screwdriver : I wasn't so sure of the TARDIS's new look at first, it was.. big. And a lot shinier than the last one, neater and more polished. But then all the details I wasn't so sure about at first made me squee when I watched it again. So so so pwetty! The sonic screwdriver.. well not much to say about that really.

Other bits.. Loved the part where they showed the world through the Doctor's eyes. Wasn't so sure about the cryptic messages.. would rather be given hints throughout the show like the Bad Wolf messages in Ten's time. Thought the storyline was meh, it was good but it wasn't great. Having said that I really really like the montage of the past Doctors' faces, and then Eleven stepping through Ten's face. Awesome. Also liked how he told off the giant eye, even though I had to stop myself from making Lord Of The Ring jokes.. (The Doctor would so kick Sauron's ass.).. The 'whats to come' bit at the end has me intrigued. Did I spot vampires? And the Doctor with a gun??

Am also curious on how reliant Eleven will be on the sonic screwdriver. Hopefully not so much. Would love to see him fiddle more, rather than the whole 'point-and-voila' thing Ten had going on.

*excited bounce* (Just for you, A)

Can't wait for next week!!

Le sigh..

2010-04-02T00:58:00.000-07:00

An incredibly sweet vid which made me sigh. Thanks to my friend at the office who pointed me towards it!

Well then.

2010-03-28T19:23:00.000-07:00

My last post was actually accidental, but since Opa Colson wrote a comment on it. I'm going to keep it as is.

So. Yes.

I dunno.

I feel like writing but my brain is a bit frazzled. I should probably use it more so that it doesn't act up when I kick it and make it think. Silly brain.

*lesigh*

I

2010-03-23T10:48:00.001-07:00

On words, magic and resolutions.

2010-03-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

For a title that long, this is going to be one helluva short entry.

I believe in magic, I do. I do.

Maybe it's because I'm a n00b..

2010-03-07T19:26:00.000-08:00

But I quite enjoy the routine I've gotten into, what with waking up early, going to work, coming home and then sleeping at midnight.

I'm enjoying my tiny cubicle and the work I'm given.. Which is weird, because it's work my friends have given to me all through university - translating stuff. Maybe it's because I get paid with money instead of favours. Maybe it's the stuff I'm translating.. Because honestly, just about anything beats the pain of translating English texts to Indonesian on the subject of *legasp* politics.

I'm kinda shocked I got the job actually, I know next to nothing about the stuff that's in the magazines I'm working on (hint, Colson! Hint! Hahaha.) and I thought I did a shit job at my translating test when I was being interviewed, as English is a pretty language, while my grasp of Indonesian is sketchy at best. Hehehe. Well. Here's to improving my Indonesian, more photography work (please, please, please!) and my tiny cubicle!

The girl who..

2010-03-03T05:34:00.000-08:00

Day 3 at the office. Had a photoshoot planned, with ME as the photographer.. First test - EEE! Was so super duper excited I started emailing everybody!

Only.. The shoot didn't go as planned. Oh we had everything we needed, and I was happily planning what goes where with my co-worker who was in charge of the shoot, when lo-behold.. I dislocated my knee. Again. For the umpteenth time.

If it was my right knee, I would have dealt with it with a wink and a twinkle in my eye. Unfortunately it was my left knee, and it was the first time I dislocated that one. I've forgotten how painful first times are. Mind out of the gutter please, I'm talking about a painful experience here! Hahaha.. Anyway, I was in so much pain, I couldn't slam it back in place like I usually could. So I gave my dad a call and waited for him to arrive. Good thing his office is near!

It'd be an understatement if I said everything sort of fell apart from there. I spent the next couple of hours resting my leg. Grraggh. Thanks to Reza who stayed with me in the meeting room where I sat on our set, looking like an idiot. Ah well.

I was hoping I wouldn't be known as 'the girl who dislocated her knee' at least in place. T'wasnt meant to be! Haha. I don't mind tho'..

In the end we did the shoot as planned and hopefully it looks good enough that I'm given more photography assignments. YAY! Because seriously, I love the feeling of reading 'Stylist and Photography : Atri'.

(Even though to be honest Reza did as much as I did when it came to arranging the set.)

WHOOHOO!

I'm really really really enjoying my job so far.

Fingers crossed it'll last a while!

My 24th, with a BANG!

2010-02-27T11:29:00.000-08:00

.. Or maybe it would be more accurate if I said it started with a 'DO DO DOO! DO DO DO DOO!' ala Third Eye Blind's Semi Charmed Life.. Something along the lines of.

HELLO DEAR WORLD, I AM 24!!
And I have been for.. A little over 24 hours now.

This is a whirlwind account of one of my bestest birthdays ever.

It started off with a cousin's night out. 8 of us went out for drinks and singing. No, not karaoke.. We went to Trip at Kemang. Mike's Apartment (a band which turned out to have a distant cousin of mine as the vocalist) was on, singing what can only be described as one of the most awesome playlists EVARRR. We drank, ate peanuts, and shouted every single song out (not singing.. we were shouting).. We were a loud crowd.. But then, everyone else was just as loud.

Mike's Apartment. Trip. Every Friday. - Highly recomended.

The ride home was hilarious as hell, with my youngest cousin (there) singing random songs, complete with hand movements. Actually.. most of our entertainment that night came from a very, very drunk 17 year old. If only our numbers were complete.. But things were awesome just the way they were. And #cousinsnightout HAS to be repeated. Repeatedly.

The day passed uneventfully.. What with me waking up to my dad thoroughly entranced by the TV, that he forgot to wish me a happy birthday till I pinched him. Haha. Funny, dad. Funny. (It was funny, actually).. Had my hair cut.. Bought a white blouse FOR MONDAY (new JOB! YAY!)..

I went out for dinner with a good friend of mine, and while we were out we had to try out clothes. of course. And this ended badly - with me spending a little birthday dosh on a little (dark grey to) black dress, which made me look oh so deliciously curvy. Instead of the usual lumpy, somewhat mis-shappen silhouette I have grown to love. Had Indian food (our fave!), and somehow stumbled along to a free 15 minutes massage-therapy thing, and laughed at people.

All in all, I was ready to turn in for the night.. When lo, behold! This sight greeted me the moment I stepped I arrived at the second floor of my house:

And so I laughed for 10 minutes straight.

I managed to miss my own surprise party, complete with cake and presents. Ahahahaha..! Oops? Thank you to Jo for the cake and the present she took with her, Rama and Manda for the presents they left, and to anyone else (if indeed there were any) who came. Even if I didn't get to see you, you guys made my day!

And Twinno, for being an annoying bitch-boy, I'm still 2 seconds away from kicking your ass. But for being an unbelievably sweet guy (slash bastard), I'm hugging you. A lot. Now behave, so things can go back to being normal!

And thank you AbangDanisPutiBilaRaiAlAbi, MumDadGramps, RIFA (I almost forgot to mention my brat 9 year old cousin who made me the cutest pressies and gave me a cupcake), Tia, Colson for the emails and count-down.. And everyone else who wished me a happy birthday.

SMOOCHIES!

Zombies, indeed

2010-02-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

I've been playing this game for a couple of months now.. I still can't stop. It's.. annoyingly addictive. And it got me thinking..

I think I'd rather be one of the early victims. A zombie when I wake up first thing in the morning. I don't want to run around scared.

Yes. Important thoughts in the middle of the night.

I leave you with a cute song from the game!

Love, love, love comedy

2010-02-19T09:38:00.000-08:00

Cowards.
Featuring : Tim Key, Tom Basden, Stefan Golaszewski and Lloyd Woolf

Wish there were more than 3 episodes. *sigh*

They're not as obviously-funny as The Mitchell and Webb Look (another sketch show from the Beeb), but I love how it makes me suddenly laugh (I'm inclined to think I like Cowards more actually.. *legasp* I still love Mitchell and Webb though!)

So. The Melbourne comedy fest is looming.. and there's about 10 acts I want to go see (among them Jon Richardson! And Garfunkel and Oates! And Adam Hills! And Sarah Millican, and Dead Cat Bounce, and Tim Key, and.. the list goes on..) It really, really sucks. It's only a couple of hours away, and I wish I had money. Money can solve all my problems.

Well. Not all maybe. I doubt it can solve the lack of guys that catch my interest, and it wont stop my cat from presenting me with bits of insect and geckos.. but it may solve my shelving problem. Hmmm. Either way, having some money won't hurt. Haha!

Here's some Garfunkel and Oates to make you (and me!) laugh.

It's quite a sweet song when you think about it. Call it my late Valentines for the internet. Hahaha.

Oh I might as well..

2010-02-18T07:40:00.000-08:00

While I'm here.. 2 new pics! I'm loving the grainy black and white look at the moment. And yes, I'm still all about the squares. They speak to the symmetry-freak in me.

These two are close friends of mine, and let me tell ya, they were fantastically fun to shoot.

Shot using a Nikon D80 and a lensbaby composer lens. As always, also available on my dA account.

On facebook, netiquette and parental supervision

2010-02-18T06:26:00.000-08:00

Rule number one of the internet : Never talk about the internet.

Oh hang on.. Sorry. I was thinking of Fight Club there for a second.

The internet. It's a wonderful place, yes? Full of information and possibilities and people. Oh I know there are plenty of bots around, but people.. People make the internet a wonderful place to explore. It also makes it oh-so-dangerous.

Rule number one of the internet : Be sensible.

There's been a couple of stories on the news lately of teenage girls going missing after meeting up with people they've met on the internet. While it is a worrying thing - the internet isn't to blame. Specifically - facebook isn't to blame.

I've been on the internet for more than 10 years now, I'm healthy, (sort of) sane and pretty much in one piece. No, I didn't really have parental supervision when I started out - mostly because I sneaked on when my parents weren't looking. When they did realize I've been using the computer for things like chatting and surfing however, they told me one thing : be sensible. Don't give out personal information. Don't be an idiot.

I realize with things like facebook and myspace and friendster and hi5 and all those other social-networking sites, you do end up giving out personal information. Things like your name, and maybe place of work and/or school - but you really don't have to fill all the spaces provided. You can omit those details and no one is likely to complain. they can always message you if they need to contact you.

And yes, I know you can meet people on the internet. I, myself have been lucky enough to have met some really wonderful people. It's not likely I'll ever meet any of them, sure.. but I have received packages - expected and unexpected - from them. Gifts that I treasure and keep in a special place. And if I ever do decide to meet any of them.. Well I'm going to be sensible.

Is it too much if I say that it's common sense that if you're going to meet up with someone you have never met before, you go to a public place? Filled with people and preferably somewhere familiar to both parties. Go with other people, bring at least two or three friends along.. And for God's sake, don't go anywhere "private" with them! Not to a quiter place, and definitely not to their cars!

Yes, I know it was horrible that these girls went missing, and yes I suppose I am selfish for saying this. But I do hope those few idiots doesn't ruin the internet for everyone else.

Our government right now is at a place where they're likely to do anything to make sure they stay in the good graces of the public. And while many would be outraged at the possibility of over-policing the internet, I fear many more will cry out that certain sites just be banned outright.

Maybe netiquette should be made part of the curriculum in school.

Or better yet - teach common sense.

It seems that most of the problems in Indonesia could be solved with just a little bit of common sense. *sigh*

Ist this a bovveréd face thou seest before thee?

2010-02-08T08:36:00.000-08:00

I love Catherine Tate. She's so pwetty! Though not as Lauren Cooper.

See? Pretty! Though apparently it's mostly girls that find her attractive. Me, I just have a thing for red-heads. And David Tennant - oh Mr. Tennant, sir! *swoon*

Edit: I just realized that it might make more sense if I mentioned that David Tennant was the tenth Doctor on the series Doctor Who, and Catherine Tate was one of his companions. That's why I found the Doctor Who reference and her "bite me, alien boy!" bit hilarious. :D

Never you

2010-02-02T08:04:00.000-08:00

I know it's not you,
it never is.
But still I turn my head,
and sigh..
.. and curse.

Every corner,
at every stop sign,
Everywhere.
I always see..
.. something.

But not you,
never you.

I really should stop looking.

Because everyone reads twitter, and a blog post is too revealing.
.. and because I still miss you. Sometimes.

Jump! Turn! TWIST!

2010-02-01T22:04:00.000-08:00

(for some reason I can't post a bigger version of this pic. Graarrgghh..)

I think by the end of my 5 minutes of directing her moves, she was too dizzy to be pissed off at me for telling her to jump and spin around. Ahahaha!

The photo came from the same series of shots I took while I was at Bromo with the family, though I think I prefer the outcome/edit of my previous shot. Although that one looked gloomier.

I should go out and take moar pictchoores.. Oh wit what did you say, conscience? Thesis? What thesis..?? Meh. I should stop distracting myself. Procrastination is evil and should be avoided. Know that I am nodding wisely.

Mousey is a shameless hussy ;P

2010-01-31T05:30:00.000-08:00

As a kid I used to get pissed off at adults who didn't get excited over birthdays, I used to think people who didn't do a one month countdown to their birthday was weird.

So in honour of myself as a kid.. I'm gonna psych myself up for my birthday this year! Not quite a full month of countdown - just 27 days.. Under the tag #atriisashamelesshussy on twitter, I'm going to post my birthday wishes; stuff I want, people I want to see on my birthday and ideas on what I want to do to celebrate Feb the 27th.

I'll post the full list here on the 26th!

I know, I know.. I'll probably end up dissapointing myself, as I'd be really excited for the 27th of Feb and everyone else will prolly go "meh".. but this is for me. And me at 7, who looked forward to New Years because it meant I was that much closer to my birthday.

I'm slowing down and enjoying the little things in life. :D

Oh my God, I had a writing journal..!

2010-01-27T05:15:00.000-08:00

A long time ago, I was very big into writing. I wrote on every scrap of paper I found.. and at one point it was all I wanted to do. I wanted to be a professional writer. These days.. not so much.

I love writing.. I really, really do.. But I don't think I'll ever be as awesome as Calvin who managed to get published (and will repeat the awesomeness soon..?), or be as eloquent as Meethz, or as imaginative as Quincey. Lucky for me, I count these people as close friends and I can bask in their awesomeness and grin.

No, this post isn't about me feeling sorry for myself..

I once had a writing journal. The front of the book was full of prompt words and situations, short excerpts and a target number of words, and the back.. was empty except for one entry titled 'Do You Understand'. I don't remember writing it (I never remember my own writing, I'm even amazed at school assignments I completed when I came across them..), and I see a lot of things I wanted to tweak.. but I was strangely proud of myself. Well.. of the 'me' that wrote it. It made me go immediately on a quest to find a pen, so I can scribble some more.

I once had a chat with Quincey about where our passion for writing went, and how much we missed it. Well, I'm going to see if I can get it back. So here's a project I'm setting up for myself.. One piece every fortnight. I'm going to write a short piece and post it on the net.. somewhere. I'm too embarrassed to share the link, but I might.. someday.

Wish me luck.

Bandung, January 2010

2010-01-25T07:00:00.000-08:00

Unlike some of my smarter slash more.. diligent - (God, for some reason I hate that word) - friends who finished uni much, much earlier than me.. I'm not quite done yet. I'd like to say it's because of some unavoidable reason I can't really disclose in a public space, but truth is I'm a really, really lazy girl. So I have to keep going back-and-forth from Jakarta to Bandung, because really.. truth be told - I can't stand Bandung these days. It's boring. And annoyingly peaceful.

I used to love that place so much I only came home when my mum started complaining she never saw me. Or I'd visit Jakarta just for the day on an insane whim with my friends, driving 2 hours to Jakarta to eat noodles and then rush back to Bandung for classes. I loved Bandung so much that I vowed I was going to move permanently there when I finished uni.

That was before I realized I loved Bandung because I had my friends with me 24/7 since I lived in Ciumbuleuit - a stretch of road that was brimming with UNPAR students (and where UNPAR is actually located in). Most of my friends lived a couple of houses away, the farthest one was located a mere 15 minutes drive away. Food was abundant, and my favourite places delivered right to my door - which meant I once spent a whole week without showering with Jo and Adin, in Jo's room, eating take outs and watching trashy TV shows, only showering when we couldn't stand how smelly we were. And with everything being only an arm's reach away from one's place of residence, it wasn't exactly uncommon to see people milling around in their pj's at all hours of the day.

I realize how disgusting this sounds, but we missed classes for the whole week and it was a one-off performance, never to be repeated as we all repented soon after. I swear I always showered if I had to attend classes (except for the few times I didn't wake up in time.. and that one time I almost missed my exams).. And it was so much fun!

ANYWAY! It was so weird to be back and realize I didn't recognise anyone. And its probably the main reason I'm so fed up with Bandung when I have to go see my thesis-advisor. Everyone is a stranger. The kids lounging around my campus, the ones having lunch at my favourite haunts, people at the photocopy centre.. Oh the people at the internet place grinned when they saw me, the janitor greeted me and we had a chat, and the lady serving me noodles was as lovely as ever - but everyone else was a stranger.

When you live 24/7 in one place you quickly recognise its residents, and for the first time - I realized I was the guest. Not the inhabitant. Strange feeling.

Seeing one of my old homes being.. dismantled only added to the feeling.

I moved a couple of times in the 4 years I was there - almost once every year in fact. And probably the most memorable one was RaBen - this house that was falling apart. The floor in front of our second floor bathroom was rotted, so we always had to jump to get to and from it. The railing were broken on the stairs - which happened on one extremely drunken night, courtesy of yours trully and a friend. My room was so damp that my bag would grow mould if I didn't use it regularly, meethz would probably also add that she once found mouldy chicken bones in my room (courtesy of my brother who ate KFC in my room, wrapped the bones in tissue and then forgot to throw it away before a 3 month break)

Seeing the old place getting torn down was awful. Even though it hasn't been fit to live in for a while now.

I miss my Ciumbuleuit. With my friends living around me, and gossip travelling faster than the speed of light, I miss the way music and movies got shared around.. Like I said - I miss MY Ciumbuleuit.

Even the shops around campus has changed. A lot of my fave haunts have dissapeared.

Well. At least one thing still remained. Pak Moes' place - noodles with corned beef and cheese, and a half boiled egg. It never fails to make me sigh and grin like an idiot. Unhealthy AND delicious - a perfect combination!

Grraaagh. So many things about uni was just.. perfect. But I have to graduate soon. Like this month. Or next month. Before my 24th birthday!

Lesigh.

Senator Savino, NY December 2, 2009

2010-01-16T05:19:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I even out-geek myself

2010-01-15T06:50:00.000-08:00

Technically I don't think I've earned the right to cal myself a 'geek', but amongst my friends (from middle school.. junior high.. high school.. uni.. etc..) I'm certainly the geeky-est. Okay fine, I am a bit of a geek. *big grin*

So.. A couple of years back when I got wind of Star Trek being re-vamped I was a little freaked out. And by a 'little', I mean I growled at any of my friends who told me any bits of news and slapped someone who told me when the trailer came out (as if I didn't already know!).. Turns out - I'm in love with the new movie. I mean.. Srsly. Best movie of 2009.

And of course this means I'm definitely getting the DVD. And by DVD I thought I meant just a DVD. Guess what came out? A limited edition DVD with an ENTER-frickin'-PRISE case!! You can imagine how excited I got. But tragedy!! - I was out of town and I underestimated the sheer amount of closet Trekkies and new fans that would get as excited as me when they saw the case!

I was away for a week!.. And that was enough to loose any and all hope of getting the limited edition DVD! *I swoon, I whimper, I faint*

My brother was lucky enough to grab the last one in this record store - and it was a display DVD, it wasn't even supposed to be sold. He kept insisting he wanted that one, and that one only. I panicked and searched all over Jakarta the next day, placing orders at every single shop I visited. Remember how big Jakarta is? And the traffic jams? And the expensive tol roads? And the sheer stupidity of motor cycles here? Yes. I braved all that!

And got nothing!

(This is a long story, I know. But I promise the end is coming..)

So.. I had given up hope and sort of grudgingly admitted to myself I'd have to get the one in metal casing (yeah I didn't want the plastic one either ;P) the next day, as those were rapidly going as well.. But then! GRAMEDIA CALLED.

Gramedia is a chain of bookstores in Indonesia which I used to frequent a lot as a kid - not so much now.. because I have to spend my own money, and I'm permanently broke.

So yes.

They called.

"Excuse me, Ms. Siregar.. Unfortunately we wont be re-stocking the limited edition DVD case of the Star Trek movie." *pause for dramatic effect as I loose all hope* "but we still have a couple at our office." *and BOOM! I jump out of my chair and sort of.. flail my arms.* - At this point I was trying to figure out which Gramedia is closest to my house as I thought I'd prolly have to pick it up.. "If you could give me your full address we can have the DVD deliver via messenger and you can pay on the spot."

And end scene, as I practically faint. Okay exaggeration. But I had to sit back down again.. And then I spent 5 minuted telling the Twitter world just how much I loved Gramedia, and a whole day gloating at my brother since my DVD will be BRAND NEW. *grin*

Here are shit pictures of the DVD :

Technically, the one on display is my brother's, as I don't trust myself to put mine on display just yet. I still keep giggling just at the sight of it. I also make whooshing sound as I transport the DVD from one place to another (it's still in it's plastic covering, and I can't decide which place is safest to store it in).

So.. I LOVE YOU GRAMEDIA. Thank you so much! Talk about customer service ;D

Hmm..

2010-01-14T06:52:00.000-08:00

Thick square-glasses.
Weird floppy hair.
Bad skin.

Am I turning into Ed Byrne?

Having said that.. I do have a crush on Ed. Ah well. As long as I don't grow man-bits, things could be worse.

Pimpin' the fam'

2010-01-13T07:37:00.000-08:00

So. I may be biased, but I think my family's a talented bunch.

Cousin #1 : clickityclack (The one often featured on my pics. The one featured on my last photo-post, actually..!)

Then there's : rushadee (Birthday Boy who just turned 19!)

And : ralgani (EMO BRAT! xD Haha! But then again at his age - just about everyone is.)

And last but not least... Rafy Sugiri (ralgani's dad!)

My brother has some pretty awesome pics too (and he's talented at painting to boot. The bastard.) but the only ones he makes public are his warjunkies stuff (he's an airsoft geek), there are some pretty cool shots OF him though over at his kuronoraito multiply account.

Feel free to comment here or on their accounts! :D

Oh.. and..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRAT!
I can't believe your fat arse is now 19. Be good and stop being a prev-fa-ce!

(Hugs, from the other prev-fa-ce in the fam ;P)

There She Is

2010-01-12T09:15:00.000-08:00

Instructions:

1. Go to http://sambakza.net/
2. Select -English-, so you can understand the menu options.
3. Click on the BLUE square, titled 'amalloc'
4. Watch the flash-vids in order
5. Squeal as appropriate, and spread the word

HAPPY NEW YEAR..!

2010-01-05T06:07:00.000-08:00

A preview of pictures yet to come :D Available for larger viewing over at my dA, as always..!

AND AWAY! :D

2009-12-22T11:22:00.001-08:00

Fingers crossed I can stay sane for the 2 weeks I'll be away with my fam! :D

But before I go..! I bought a new lens called a Lensbaby Composer! Wahooo! New TOY. And here are some of my recent shots, a sample of many more to come. I predict this holiday will be full of many fun shots. Yay!

And a cute vid I found on Youtube :

MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

May you holiday be full of merriment and joy.

PS: A, fingers crossed you're reading this. Will write you a long one ASAP. See ya after the holidays!

Feeling quite silly today

2009-12-15T10:07:00.000-08:00

So here's a thought..

Because I have too much time in my hands and I spent five minutes spinning around in a circle. I'm feeling quite nauseous - Uhh.. not that I'm bulimic. I'm just feeling really sick at the moment, and was so close to puking that this random thought occurred to me..

Why the hell did I ever spin for fun?.. Flashback to 1995 - oh right. Because I was 9.

I'd like to say I wont do something stupid and again, but I'm currently curious what'll happen if I mixed 7up and jam, with a generous helping of cream on top. (Fingers crossed I wont get any bum troubles!)

Tom Basden..!

2009-12-13T23:26:00.000-08:00

Eeeee! I love love love his voice. And the songs.. Ahahaha. Listen closely to the lyrics!

Nigel Parker

2009-12-04T01:42:00.000-08:00

Who said fiction is called fiction because it never happens in reality? I posted 'Validation' a while back - I never thought I'd find a story as heartwarming in real life.

Kudos, Nigel Parker.

Ed Byrne : Zemanovaload/A Different Class

2009-12-02T07:11:00.000-08:00

Imdb link : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397753/

Imdb summary : John Davies suffers from multiple obsessive compulsive disorders. When his current model girlfriend leaves him, he decides to replace her with the number 1 babe on planet Earth - Czech model Veronika Zemanova. The film follows his attempts to curb his old obsessions in order to meet his latest obsession - Veronika.

I really enjoyed this movie. The dialogue is fun and witty, I'm enjoying the music, and there's some gorgeous shots. Not the most fantastic movie out there, but it warrants a second viewing. Don't think about it too much, just bask in the silliness and lighthearted fun.

This isn't a review, since I don't think I'm very objective when it comes to Ed Byrne. I like him. He's right up there in my list of stand ups I hope I can see live one day.

Having said that. His new stand up DVD from his 'A Different Class' tour is out, and the verdict - it doesn't disappoint. Ed is charming and witty and a joy to watch. I particularly enjoy his rant about a 'mood' of goths and and 'isobar' of emos who are linked by their depression.. Do I like it more than his 2006 DVD 'Pedantic and Whimsical'? Yes.. I think I probably do.

If you want to read more about the tour, go to his Chortle page. I'm quite shaite at writing reviews these days.

Apathy vs. .. Whatever it is I'm feeling at the moment.

2009-11-30T22:33:00.001-08:00

I'm at a strange point in my life where I feel that most of everything I think should be kept private. Half because I know nothing of the world, and half because - whatever I say will only add fuel to the fire (I see lots of clashing opinions around me, lately. - That's what happens when you surround yourself with opinionated people.)

I wouldn't say I'm being apathetic, I'm just.. careful.

I realize I spew a lot of bs, a lot of the times. But as long as they're confined to voicing my own personal thoughts (on ice cream, books, and other such trivial matters) and/or to how I view myself.. Then I figure I'm not pissing people off.

And maybe that's partly because I hate seeing people get riled up. Especially my elders. They have heart problems. (Haha..!)

But yes.. I'm not detaching myself from the world, I'm feeling joy and sadness and pain and (lots of) anger, but unless it's about trivial matters, I just don't see the point of being mouthy. One day maybe.. When I'm in a position to make a change. But for now.. As a student (who should have graduated ages ago), who is barely legal (I still consider 23 as barely legal, yes.), and as a person who still has much to learn from the world.. I'm going to try to keep my cool and keep my bs to a minimum.

...

Talking of graduation.. I really should do that. Soon. I need a job. There's been an onslaught of books I want lately. The list just keeps getting longer. *sigh*

Speaking in riddles.

2009-11-30T10:46:00.000-08:00

No. I'm no good at riddles.

Basically.. I'm just going to say one word over and over again..

Want.

Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want.Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want.Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want.Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want.

Those sketches I liked so much..

2009-11-28T10:49:00.000-08:00

Tiny images, yes. But they can be viewed over at my deviantArt page. It warrants viewing, as the second one has a poem attached. Ahaaa :D

I did say I'm not exactly the most talented person out there when it comes to actually drawing something, but I do quite like my own stuff. *grin*

Pumped up!

2009-11-26T10:55:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I was really envious of my super artsy MUMandDADandBROTHER, who all seemed to be able to wield a paintbrush like whoa.

I was of course shit at art.

Or so I thought.

I'm no expert, but I'm damned pleased of the stuff I have. They're always sketchy, because I have no patience. They're always vague, because I have no patience. And I always have at least 5 copies of whatever it is I'm working on, shredded and haphazardly thrown in the bin, because strangely enough (for someone who really does have little to no patience).. I'm a perfectionist. I hatehatehate smudges.

And when you work best with ballpoint pens, pastels and chalks - well. Sucks to be you (or more precisely.. me)

It's been a while since I touched the stuff, and that's probably because I have really really awesome friends who are so much better at the arts than me. But I pick it up again every few months before letting it lie dormant again for some time.

ANYWAY.

What I'm trying to say is : I'm gonna try to fire up my scanner *soon* so I can post some of my sketches up. 'Cause really - why should my photos get all the glory??

On writing..

2009-11-25T11:23:00.001-08:00

I was such a productive little shit when I was 15. I hate myself. Seriously. Looking back, I'm disgusted at how much time I could spend writing. Hours upon hours upon hours of writing and editing.

Yes, this is 23 year old me, being jealous of the 15 year old I used to be.

I had a discussion with my best friend a while back.. We both feel like we're really shit at writing fiction now. Around 2001/2002, we were seriously addicted at writing. And it wasn't all shit either. There are some stuff I wrote back then that I'm still quite proud of. Not necessarily brilliant, but so much better than my stuff now.

I think.. I think that I should probably have stuck by NaNoWriMo (which to be honest, really isn't possible right now).

I have pages upon pages upon pages of excerpts. Just bits and bobs that I worked on years ago. A sentence or two that I can probably expand into a longer piece.. Just a ton of un-edited words piled up in my room. Remnants on when my brain didn't over analyze the words which spewed out of me.

And one of these days.. Soon.. I'm going to take 30 days and I'm going to do my own NaNoWriMo. Because I need to have fun again.

Frankly, over thinking sucks.

Huh.

2009-11-20T13:08:00.000-08:00

Dengeki Daisy by Motomi Kyousuke

The above is a panel from a silly manga I've recently gotten into.

So.. What does it tell you that I tend to *still* talk about those topics when I'm still hanging out with my friends? Ahahaha!

Love and sex still mystifies us and is always a good subject for giggles, scary stories usually end up with me cowering in my blankets (I'm a big baby. I get scared easily!) and "boundaries to the universe" questions are fun. And if Jo is around, they'll turn into heated debates before tapering of into ridiculous 'what if' scenarios involving snot and puke, or if she's being particularly creative - both.

Ah such is life.

I have no problems with admitting how immature and juvenile I am. *big grin*

Bleurgh.

2009-11-17T00:43:00.000-08:00

Argh. NaNoWriMo fail!

Mostly because I'm a bum. But there's a couple of other things in the way as well.. But they're all excuses and like Twinno says 'excuses are lame and mean nothing when it comes to looking at the bigger picture'.. So yes. But I'm still going to continue the stuff I'm working on, I can probably revamp it into a shorter story. And so.. Yes.

Excuses. Pffthz.

Russell Howard DVD : Dingledodies tour

2009-11-13T11:38:00.000-08:00

Russell's new DVD is out. And the verdict? He doesn't disappoint.

Which is of course a huge understatement. I tried my hardest not to giggle too loudly as it is currently 2.30 am, and I've literally just finished the hour long DVD. I was literally shaking with laughter and I banged my head against the desk several times.

Excerpt:

The clip doesn't do the set justice to be honest, it's too short and taken out of the longer routine which had me in stitches. Of course, since it is meant to be a preview - well. See if you can find the DVD.

He's ever playful in his delivery, jumping from one part of the stage to the next and will repeatedly (and unashamedly) start shagging the air.. It all helps deliver the underlying message of his set - which is that life should be lived and enjoyed. And just about everyone gets to be the subject of his glee, from his audience - a man who came in late, a girl that asked to shag him, to mention a few. To his family and friends, who sound deliciously demented.

It's always a joy, Mr. Howard.

I only wish I would one day get a chance to see him live. ^___^

NB.
I don't know why it never occurred to me before to search out childhood terms I pretended to understand as a kid.. Anyway, Russell mentioned once the term 'Mars bar party' and the light switched on and I went "Oooohh.. is that what it was?" - 12 years since the first time I heard of it.

So Matt, Jon and Huw - HAHAHA! I know what it means now!.. Also - EWWW!

Though I'm 4 days late..

2009-11-04T08:42:00.000-08:00

I've decided something.

NaNoWriMo is a go!

Here's to a month of coffee and late night scribblins..es. Damn you, Calvin!!!

FISIP UNPAR 2004

2009-10-29T12:55:00.001-07:00

Introducing Parahyangan Catholic University's Faculty of Social Sciences, class of 2004.

Taken within the first few days of being "grown ups" when we had no idea what that title really meant.

I spent around 5 years with them. I ended up living with several of these lovely people, spent 24 hours a day 7 days a week giggling and escaping class, fell in love (and broke it quite dramatically), had my car broken into, went on several awesome roadtrips, routine midnight outings and other silly things "young people" got up to.

I miss living in Ciumbuleuit dearly.

ARGH! Feeling suddenly nostalgic. It's all Dork-boy's fault. (btw.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DORKMEISTER!!)

A couple of us gathered last night to throw my friend a surprise party. In the old days this would mean hordes of people sneaking out of their houses in their varied sleep-attire, and meeting up in front of the birthday person's place. It's much harder now we've all split up an are scattered all over the place.

But we managed. Sort of.

Laughing with them makes me miss the old days quite badly. The quips and running commentary on anything and everything.. The bad puns and hilarious jokes. I miss them so much, I wonder why we don't hang out more often.

Lesigh.

The distance between places, the traffic jams, the jobs.. Grraaghh.

I MISS YOU, FISIP 2004!
And I miss living in close proximity with you guys.

Hey, Zacky!

2009-10-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

I'm naturally messy. Like.. really messy. Everything around me always turns topsy turvy and everything I wear end up looking scrunched up within 5 seconds of me putting it on. I'm semi-proud of this talent, but I realize I need to scrub up for certain occasions.

Also : I'm practically blind to something called 'fashion'. I just literally throw on whatever it is I have laying next to my bed. I've been known to wear long skirts as dresses and short skirts as tube-tops.

This is important information to know, to understand how out of character my latest purchase is, and why it's a special occasion when I fall in love with clothes.

The picture really doesn't do this top any justice as the colour is so much richer and just breathtaking in person.

In an attempt to look more presentable at more formal occasions, I recruited my cousin to help me shop for tops I can wear with trousers or batik sarongs. She took me to a designer called Zacky. He's still unknown, and works from a tiny kostan (rented rooms) somewhere near Pondok Indah.

GAH. Seriously. People need to keep an eye out for this guy. Gorgeous clothes, with stunning colours and they feel so lovely once you put them on. Like seriously. And because of the way he uses his materials, it's a one-size-fits-most kinda deal. This top looked great on my cousin (who is about.. half my size) and it still looks great on me.

So yes. Zacky.

He'll be at Jakarta Fashion Week, showing his work. Keep an eye out for him. Talented upcoming designer. Zacky. Remember that name. (And he's so nice!!)

(I can't wait for Jakarta Fashion Week to end, since there's a black top I want, but it's for his upcoming show. Not yet for sale. Damn.)

Oh be still my beating heart..!

2009-10-26T00:10:00.000-07:00

In terms of shopping weaknesses I only have 2 - leather bags (vintage and new!), and silver trinkets.

And today, is a good day for vintage leather bags. A few weeks back, I purchased two bags from Bags Babylon, who was lovely and helpful and patient and just amazing, and today they arrived! YAY!

On display :

On my bed :

I can't wait to parade them around..!

Seriously. You can never have too many leather bags. *drool*

Russell Howard's Good News

2009-10-24T00:14:00.000-07:00

Russell Howard's first episode of his new show recently aired. And by recently I mean 'I'm not sure if it was this week or last week'. And I managed to watch on teh interwebs, and.. Well, I love Russell, I do. I genuinely do. I think he's uplifting and watching the DVD of his 'Adventures' tour never fails to cheer me up.. But the new show.. Well.

Russell Howard's Good News is basically Russell making fun of the news. Newspapers, internet stories, clips from news on TV - literally every media of news is covered. He picks them all apart - the genuinely funny ones, the somewhat ridiculous ones and ones that are just plain stupid. And yes, Russell is funny. And yes, the show had some really good laugh-out-loud moments and moments where you can't help but giggle.. But I don't know.. It would probably do well as part of a stand-up routine which you see once and maybe never again (or maybe a couple of times more on DVD), but I'm not sure the format of the show could hold up to week after week of viewing. I get the feeling things will get old, fast.

But like I said - I'm a fan of Russell's, so I'm going to give this show another shot.

Signing off with a video of Russell's stand up from a couple of years ago.

Jakarta, Indonesia : A Guide

2009-10-18T10:28:00.001-07:00

I've been reading travel-logs of random backpackers who found themselves stranded and confused in Jakarta. Aaaaand I can't help but think they were idiots. I'm trying not to generalize and label every one of them as 'idiots who didn't do proper research', but the truth is.. they are. And it's making my beloved city look bad.

Top things they complain about:
1. Sanitation
2. Price of things
3. "Friendliness" of the people
4. Public transport
5. Places to visit/see (or lack of)

Here's a little info about Jakarta which should explain things a bit.

1. Sanitation
Yes, rats and cockroaches roam freely and rather brutally. The rats are so huge, sometimes they're bigger than the cats. And roaches have a tendency to fly *towards* you rather than the other way around.

This is why it's better to spend a bit more rather than a little less. $5 can make a difference between you shivering in disgust as you step into a bathroom with no running hot water, and you showering peacefully without bugs around you. And the area which you pick is also important. Try to get in touch with people who have either visited Jakarta for a long period of time, or have actually lived there. They're not exactly hard to find.

Food poisoning also is a big issue with foreigners.. You guys have really weak stomachs. (You don't eat half the trash I shovel down my mouth. Seriously.) Wash your hands before and after you eat, bring wet wipes - they're your best friend. If you run out - buy more. This might not help much when you're faces with questionable cubes of ice served to you as you order a cold drink, but they at least give you control over something.

If it's not at a big restaurant - wipe the spoons and forks you've been provided with, with a tissue. Wipe thoroughly. It's not rude - we do it too. If you still find yourself bent over a toilet puking your insides, or scrunching up your face tightly, howling rude words as you're sitting on the toilet - well this thing called Norit really works. If it gets worse -just go see a doctor.

2. Price of things
Again, you need to do your research.

Housing - Certain areas of Jakarta have a reputation of being "cheap" which is not necessarily good. If you want cheap places to stay and (relatively) cheap places to eat with (relatively) clean sanitation - flock towards the areas where universities are located in. Students = reasonably priced housing and food. In fact that probably applies to more places rather than just Jakarta.

Shopping for clothes - If you shop in malls, you will have to pay the expected price. ITCs are different, they're like a second grade mall, where you can still bargain with certain shop keepers. I forgot what they stand for, but the big blue letters usually stand out and can be easily seen. But again - you get what you pay for, unless you have an eye for a bargain.

Food prices between supermarkets usually only differ slightly.

3. "Friendliness" of the people
Look around with a dumb expression on you face and you will get taken advantage of. It's common sense. Be confident even while you're asking questions but be careful not to get confrontational.

But Indonesians are friendly by nature, and if you look like a foreigner, most will be fascinated and will ask questions. And chances are, you will receive the help you need in finding your way around the city. But for God's sake, use your common sense - if they look like thugs, it's safer to avoid them rather than keeping your fingers crossed that they're nice on the inside.

Ladies, if you walk alone at night and you obviously look like a tourist - people *will* harass you. Keep your exploring hours reasonable. If you find yourself out late and you're uncomfortable at the stares you're attracting, grab a taxi. If you can't find one - call for one. The numbers are easy to google, write it down and keep it in a convenient place.

4. Public transport
Buses are horrendous creations that should be abolished. Seriously. Avoid the orange death traps like the plague. If you're a tourist and you're not sure how these work here's a little explanation : Jump in when you need to, jump out when it's time. Yes. Jump.

Fine, maybe I'm exaggerating a little because I hate those ugly and hateful contraptions with a passion. But seriously - I don't recommend them. Ojeks are motorcycles - you ride shotgun. You can bargain the price with the drivers. I hate them too. (motorcycles in general - they weave in and out of the traffics like rodents.)

Busways are what the civilized buses are called. These will get you to lots of places, and they're cheap.

If in doubt - a taxi is always a safe bet. Bluebird is supposed to be the trusted brand which will deliver you safely to your destination. Gamya I know is pretty good. But there's a lot of alternatives. "Tarif bawah" means "cheap", but I've been told not to take the risk.

5. Places to visit/see (or lack of)
Jakarta is *huge*. Seriously. I live in the east of Jakarta and if you tell me I should go over to.. say the west to visit something - I'll probably go "Meh. No thanks." and go back to sleep. The traffic is horrific at rush hour, and there are roads that are specifically designed to piss you off.

Having said that - there's a lot of things to see. You just need to do your research.

What are you into? Museums? Which ones? Write them down, write the addresses down and plot it out on google map to see how far away they are from each other. Visit in clusters.

Arts and crafts? This new place has just opened up called SMESCO. It basically showcases Indonesian arts and crafts. You can buy stuff as it's really a huge shop, but you can also just visit to ooh and aah at the huge selection of things in there. Batiks, wood carvings, jewellery, furniture, tenun, whatever- if it's handmade, it's probably in there somewhere. And since it's airconditioned - you don't have to worry about the heat.

I highly recommend you just going around Jakarta to just eat. There's a good food guide you can purchase at any local book store that's worth reading. Again - visit in clusters. If you find something worth visiting on the other side of town - leave it to tomorrow.

Driving around Jakarta at night is actually pretty pleasant, but yeah.. It gets confusing to people who aren't used to it. Hell I've lived here for a little over 10 years and I still grab my phone in panic as I loose my way.

Bottom line?
If you want to visit Indonesia - why the f*ck are you in Jakarta? It's a good place to live in and fantastic to visit when there are art festivals or music festivals - but really. Jakarta? As a holiday destination? There's hundreds of cities (and towns and villages..) to visit in Jawa, so why Jakarta?

But if you have to be here? Grab a local.

Or you know - do the sensible thing. Research. And don't be such a dumbass.. Use your common sense.

Jeremy Clarkson is a self entitled arse..

2009-10-08T08:52:00.002-07:00

... but it can't be denied that he's so very good with words.

He has a acerbic wit and never fails to state his likes and dislikes in his book "For Crying Out Loud!", which is a compilation of columns he wrote for The Sunday Times between January 2006 to December 2007.

This isn't a review, you wont find a single thing useful in this post regarding what exactly is in his book.. Just that I laughed my arse off, and I kept going up to my brother to say "Hahaha, listen to what Clarkson has to say!", which is idiotic since it's him that lent me the book in the first place. I just wanted to say that the book is highly entertaining and it really made my day.

His rants range from his fascination with his wife's handbag which in his opinion could probably hide Osama Bin Laden pretty effectively, to McEton - what he thinks is a genius idea of franchising Eton since everyone seems enthusiastic about lapping up anything British.

People seem to either hate the guy or love him, and I have to say I'm afraid for now I'm in the camp of those who love him. He's not always politically correct but excessive political correctness does piss me off (we have something called 'common sense', use it.). The book is seriously fun and just.. Yes.

Okay so maybe this turned into a bit of a review.

You may say reading a book written by a person doesn’t mean you know them, but you get the general gist of what he’s like as a guy through his writings. Plus, I used to love watching Top Gear, and even though I didn’t understand much about cars, I’ve always enjoyed his comments and comparisons (The only reason I don’t still watch it now is because I haven’t watched TV in so long, I literally never get references to local TV shows and adverts).

These days when I drive, and a motorcycle pisses me off or an idiot on the road manages to make monkeys looks intelligent – I ask WWJD. What Would Jeremy Do? And the things my head come up with are enough to calm my nerves and make me laugh.

Great minds, and all..

2009-10-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

The best overheard conversation EVER :

Man : ... you know. That one I was telling you about.
Woman : You keep quoting things at me! Be specific.
Man : The T.E. Lawrence one.. "All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible."
Woman : Oh yes..

*They walk away*

I didn't actually catch the whole quote, but I manages to remember T.E. Lawrence and the 'All men dream, but not equally.' bit - And from then, google is my friend. Lovely quote isn't it? And while I was googling the T.E. Lawrence quote (which took all of 5 seconds..) I also found;

"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.".. Which is from Edgar Allan Poe.

Not sure if other people interpret the quotes as I do, but I found them similar and found both beautiful in their own right. Lovely stuff. It's been a while since I've fallen in love with words, so this was a nice surprise.

I also finally have a copy of Kerouac's On The Road, so I look forward to recognizing the Dingledodies bit. Yay!

Dear The Whitest Boy Alive..

2009-09-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

Since you have a new album out and all.. You totally should come by Indonesia again, you know we love and adore you over here. Your awesome sounds are always welcome in our country.

I look forward to you rockin' Jakarta once more.

*Enjoying the new album immensely*

*Note to anyone out in Europe: If you get the chance to check them out - GO (Looks like they're tourin' Europe first). Seriously amazing live performance, Erlend Øye's voice is really that smooth and the music comes across so much better than if you were listening to their CD. You can't help but dance along with Erlend and his funky moves.

(Numero deux on my all time fave bands to see live. Second only to D'Sound. And that's only because I have a huge crush on Simone Larsen. And because seriously, D'Sound is like whoa.)

But this is about The Whitest Boy Alive. And they are fan-bloody-tastic.

WAIT.. HANG ON.. *EDIT 10 seconds after posting*

I was just checking D'Sound's website.. And z0mgwtf!!?!?!?!!11? NEW SINGLE OUT xD And Simone has prettyful new hair! Oh oh oh.. I'm listening to their new single right now. Oh my GOD. I love love love it. :D

I'm gonna spend the next 10 minutes twirling to the new single. YAY!
(Does this mean you guys will be visiting Indonesia again? You did say you loved being here.. I'm getting my hopes up already. I know.)

Hahaha, THIS is why we're friends.

2009-09-20T04:00:00.000-07:00

Dear friends, relatives, and colleagues:

As always, this is one of those annual Aidil Fitri celebration messages I used to send. Apparently I'm too lazy to compile any beautiful sentences. However, I suppose I should express how you and me are very blessed to live long enough to embrace this celebration once more. And with each Aidil Fitri passed through, I hope instead of following common custom of buying new stuff, we develop our gratitude and sincerity towards life and others.

With love, Rama Putra

Even though we have our differences, that message came this morning from a guy I proudly call my twin. No, he's not really my twin.. But he's super retarded, and we were in the same group while doing the tedious uni-orientation thing, and retards tend to unite (He'd prefer to call us The Elite Few, but I know better.)

Haha.

But yes. Definitely my favourite greeting this year.

HAPPY EID TO ALL.. and to all a good night!

The wit of stick-people

2009-09-14T01:30:00.000-07:00

http://xkcd.com/635/

Brought to you, by the peeps over at xkcd. Hahaha.

I'm sorry, this one just made me laugh so hard. No offense to all the people out there who write such blogs, as I do read them occasionally (aka when I feel like I should raise my IQ points up a few. Which is.. rarely, as I'm a lazybum).. But yeah.

I know most people don't think they'll be hand-picked to reform the way things are because of their blogs, but write them out of pure frustration and disbelieve at what their (or other people's) governments are doing. Kudos to them for being eloquent enough to state their thoughts beautifully.

So don't start bashing me.

I usually avoid blogs that heavily rely on political-talk in general as sometimes when I read them I *personally* feel like I'm basically flailing at the world, helpless to change it yet adamant that my voice be heard.

Then again, there are cases of ordinary people in history whose extraordinary voices changed the world.. I just realize I wont be one. Hahaha.

(Again no offense meant, as I count some political blog writers as good friends.)