[excerpt]

And all I want to do is scream, and scream, and scream.
Over and over till there’s nothing left of my voice but a pathetic croak to signify that it’s all over.
That there’s nothing left.
And then maybe everything will be okay.

M0aRz P1ktuR3z

Originally posted at my dA, here

My dearest cousin's face after she rolled down a grassy slope. You're never too old to roll down a slope and make yourself so dizzy you can't walk for five minutes. Of course its usually not a matter of whether you feel you're too old or not, but more a question of time.

Picture postage!

Originally posted at my dA, here

Originally posted at my dA, here

My Granpapa, a distinguished gentleman of old who never fails to amaze me with the awesomeness which permeates him from the tippy tip of his wispy white hair, to the end of his toes. Dashing, ain't he? Love him to bits.

Occasion? AURI anniversary (Indonesian Air Force).

Ahaha.

http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=3159

FOOK IT!

Yes, I'm trying to calm myself down. The deadline for my undergrad thesis is looming and I'm sh*tting myself.

FUCK IT!!

.. Hope that helps me somewhat.

Traffic Jam Enlightenment Moment

Enlightenment is hours upon hours of traffic jam preventing you from getting to a toilet, and finding a song which suddenly washes out every single worry you have going on in your head for a moment, while peace descends gracefully like a warm cloak, enveloping you in its warmth.

Its realizing that nothing is worth tearing your hair out over, and that nasty crushing feeling in your heart can be released in one big whoop. A loud obnoxious burst of noise from your own throat.

.. Until you suddenly cuss loudly because of the damned bus that almost ran your beautiful beat up, battered car down.

Ahahaha!

Sorry..

But its true. Today's Traffic Jam Enlightenment Moment is delivered to you by The Boy Least Likely To. I do love their soothing sounds, even the more upbeat tunes never fail to make me sigh in happy relief.

.glare.

the shadow of a hill that saved us,
from the glare of the summer,
its harsh, beating rays,
your hands in mine,
my heart in yours,
forever didn't sound so frightening.

***

I miss being head over heels in love - throwing all caution to the wind just to feel that upside-down, inside-out, burst of emotion that makes everything else pale and fade in comparison. I miss risking taking my guards down and feeling like maybe its safe to keep them down. Blurting out my incoherent thoughts and half baked ideas, just to hear someone respond in positive, an indulgent smile on their face.

To be fair I never had it all - the one ex I treasured turned out to be a bit of a bastard as time passed by.. but you know what.. that's besides the point. For once it isn't about him.

I miss being in love with someone who is far from perfect, but is just right for me.

And maybe its about time I stopped denying it.