early mornings always leave me rather woozy

Fact 1: Jakarta is ugly. It's too crowded and too polluted. A little too depressing, and a little too frustrating to be called anything other than a mess. And just.. it's too much.
Fact 2: If I could, I'd move away.

Fact 3: I'm a little in love anyway.

It's the way the city wakes up. All moody and unpredictable.

There are times the day starts with a fight. Golden rays rudely invading my room, abrupt and so completely unwelcome. The heat like an angry strike, too much for my sleepy skin to handle and just plain irritating. Fuck you Jakarta, why are you so happy today? The sudden hustle and bustle of the hated city life. Trudging along amongst irritated honks and death glares of fellow drones marching to their individual hells.

But then days like today make me think that hey.. You're all kinds of awesome darling. Lazy and reluctant like the embrace of a lover too soon separated. Sweet and slow, trails of yellows and blue seeping through a dull grey sky. Buildings standing tall, like zombies unsure of what to do. And just when you think the quiet is too much, the silence is broken by the occasional motorcycle or the shout of a street vendor offering hot, steamy, delicious rice congee.

A cup of coffee by my side, driving through the still empty streets, navigating through familiar roads.. I find myself thinking that even hell would have it's own legion of admirers.

I love you (for now) Jakarta, you ugly fucker.

over sharing is over caring

Here's 5 random things about me that you probably don't need to know :

1. I once came third in a group-dance competition in the whole of Jakarta. We did synchronized dancing with umbrellas. It's better that you don't ask. Suffice to say all I remember of it now is the bright red lipstick that I had to wear, and the annoyance of having to go at the very back, because I was always The Tall One.

2. My favourite colour is purple. But I own mostly black clothes, which is weird because I gravitate towards dark red things more, but I do own an ungodly amount of lime green coloured things too. So. Yes. Those four colours.

3. I get obsessed easily. In the end it's not so much that I like something but more of a 'it needs to be this way'.. So I try to restrict my obsessiveness to trivial things that won't bankrupt and/or destroy me.

4. I have two left feet. This makes learning dance moves and/or awesome martial arts moves virtually impossible, and as such I've given up on trying. And believe me, I have tried. (Although, I can still shake my booty as necessary at clubs. As long as no one tries to actually dance with me. Then I just turn into an uncoordinated mess.)

No. I have no idea how I won the competition mentioned back at numero uno. Well.. I did stand at the veeeeerrrrryyyyy back.

5. My eyes are easily attracted to The Pretty. I usually have several crushes going on at once, ranging from attainable guys I actually know, to random guys I regularly see. But honestly.. I don't fall for people all that easily. Which is hard to explain to my friends, as they do know just how easily distracted I get by guys.

So yes. 5 random facts brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.

Adieu, adieu~~

pretty~

"In imagination she sailed over storied seas that wash the distant shining shores of "faery lands forlorn", where lost Atlantis and Elysium lie, with the evening star for pilot, to the land of Heart's Desire. And she was richer in those dreams than in realities; for things seen pass away, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

L.M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island

I love Anne, as ridiculous as she is sometimes. And noisy. Always so noisy. And judgy. But I love Anne.  

Invention of Love [2010]

A love story from the world of gears and bolts.
Animated short 2010.
Inspired by Lotte Reiniger works and Antony Lucas's Jasper Morello film.

Graduation project

Written & Directed by Andrey Shushkov
http://a-shushkof.livejournal.com/

Original Music and Sound: Polina Sizova, Anton Melnikov.
Violin perfomed by Anna Gudkova
Not original music part: Chopin
Animation, Design, Compositing, Editing: Andrey Shushkov

http://www.facebook.com/LoveInvention



The animation is just gorgeous and the music so beautiful. The story.. Everything.. Just, yes.

they say..

"You fight over the small things because for everything else that matters.. You're in sync." Well fuck me sideways, it just reminds me of things I'd rather forget already.

It doesn't make sense because we don't fight over the small things.

We have cold wars. With me forgiving his asshole-ian asshole-rry ways over and over again, because some things only ever makes sense to us. Or knowing my bullshit can be cut through with one calm cutting remark delivered with a straight face. And knowing that at the end of the day, it's a happy hum and it's all so.. Comfortable. Even when it's unstable and strange, and just unnatural. It really doesn't make sense.

We never made sense together. But it was never anything less than incredible.

And it's all very unhealthy.

Like an extra large triple cheeseburger, wrapped in several layers of bacon and completely drenched in fat. With a side of heartattack.

Sign Language

Ben holds a sign for a living, and loves his job more than almost anything. But today is his last day.
more: http://www.facebook.com/signlanguageshortfilm

Grand Prize, Virgin Media Shorts
Grand Prix, Reed film contest
Nominee, Best British Short, British Independent Film Awards
Final 15, Short Short, BAFTA
Best Short, Portable Film Festival



Just too damn cute.

I really do love short movies. :)

reveling in the glorious feeling of drowning

In words. Not water.

Drowning in water is horrific and I hope to never experience it. Unless there is a promise of immediate rescue. By a super buff, abs adorned man-shaped person. A good looking, super buff, abs adorned man-shaped person. 

Hang on.

Not super buff. Just.. Well defined.

What was I talking about? Oh. Drowning. Yes.

I've recently been tasked by my wonderful ex-boss-lady of two jobs ago to write two articles in English, one a review of a cafe, and the other a review slash traveling journal type thing. I was at once excited and somewhat pissing myself with fear as it's been a while since I've used English formally. It's usually used to faff around on this 'ere blog, or to insult people in a round-about way so as to not seriously offend the person I'm insulting. (Making fun of people is a perfectly reasonable excuse to use English, I'll have you know!).. So yes. Out of practice. Pissing myself. Yes.

700 words in, and what I'm feeling right now can only be described as unreasonably happy. I worked in a magazine for two years, in which writing was basically my main job. Sure, I've felt bouts of excitement at writing at that time.. But writing in Indonesian is so f*cking hard. Like seriously. Hard. I don't know enough words! And the words that I do know are not always appropriate to be used in the context that I want it to be used.

And Indonesian is HARD.

And I also think it's not pretty.

Which I realize, is a terrible thing for an Indonesian to say. But fact of the matter is I don't think it's pretty. I know there are numerous authors who can wax lyrical to the point of writing a whole book, just playing around with the words and structure, using it to describe the most mundane things but making it sound FRIGGING WHOA. But it's not for me. I was never in love with it. I think it's an awesome language, sure. And speaking it makes it easier to learn other languages..... Some research once pointed out that Indonesian makes you twist your tongues in so many way that speaking other languages should (theoretically) be easier for Indonesians.

But I was never in love with it.

In my head, it sounds functional and brisk, and any attempts at saying things elaborately with Indonesian just sounds hilarious and always makes me collapse in a fit of giggles. Especially in movies where they're trying to make characters sound depressed. Or romantic. Hilarious.

And I am a terrible person. I know.

Which makes writing in it somewhat of a chore. I liked writing my articles, but I could have worded it so much better in English, and it would have brought tears to your eyes. Yes, I'm still happily playing at being ridiculous.

I know I'm just a lowly second user of English, and it's not my native tongue. And I still need to learn and learn and learn. But by GOD! I love it!

So now I am writing in English and it's so much fun and I can't stop. Hence this overly long, rant-y, extremely pointless post.

Eeeee! Imagine a little kid licking bowl that once housed cookie dough. Or a dog chasing his own tail. That kind of stupidly happy.