lucky break for the lucky b*tch

I'm one of those annoying people who always manages to land on her feet, gracefully, in a pair of gorgeous Louboutins, not a hair out of place, not a drop of sweat on my face.

Well figuratively. Because in person, I'm rather ungraceful. I have two left feet, and my idea of landing gracefully is just about managing to stay upright, with my limbs intact (my knees have a nasty habit of dislocating itself).

But I digress.

A long time ago, when I was a wee highschooler, I wanted to get into English Lit. or Interior Design. My mother dissuaded me from English Lit. because 1.) I knew most of the lecturers from the faculty of the uni I wanted to get into. 2.) Not only did they know me, they were also my babysitters, as mum had a habit of dragging me to work so we can spend time together. And 3.) She thought I'd get frustrated if asked to dissect books and/or authors I love (I don't see why, we do this anyway!)..

And Design.. Well.. My brother went into Product Design. He managed to drill into me that Product Design was way cooler than Interior Design. And one day I sneaked into his room while he was working and realized I didn't burn for it the way he did. My brother was (and still is) a cranky person when forced to do what he doesn't want to, so to see him so.. happy and excited bent over a pile of papers, surrounded by books.. Well. I knew it just wasn't for me.

But all I wanted to do was write. All I ever wanted to do was write (and be an archeologist, but that's another story all together)..

So I chose Product Design. And put 'writing' to the back of my mind. I didn't get accepted though. D'uh. (I can't draw or create for shit).. Luckily I had International Relations as a back up plan. Well not so much a 'back up plan' as a 'I-accidentally-applied-because-my-friend-said-it-was-fun' kind of thing.

When I saw what would be in store for me, I was terrified. And absolutely horrified. Economy? Law? Politics!? It just wasn't me.

So imagine my surprise when I enjoyed the classes. I was still crap at economy, and barely managed to pass those classes, but I was surprisingly pleased with all the subjects that contained 'law' in the names. A's all around for law. And politics.. politics was fun. The analyzing, the poking and prodding.. FUN. I ended up loving it.

It took me a while to graduate though, and yes, at one point I was so frustrated that I wish I never touched politics at all. But hey - I got through it.

Then comes work.

I stumbled into a job as an editor (slash photographer, slash stylist, slash art director, slash anything they can make me do, they'll send me off to do it).. Met some amazing people, got into a truckload of interesting situations.. And lamented the pay.

Anyone who works in the media in Indonesia will confirm how shit the pay is. Especially for fresh grads.

But I was writing for a living! WRITING. And get this - I was working in an interior design magazine! How frakkin' awesome was that? 15 year old me would be so impressed. And 9 year old me would just be shitting herself. WRITING!

The thing is, I worked two magazines, the interior design and the other one is a men's fashion magazine. I never thought I'd be into fashion, especially men's fashion.. But it really is fun! And I don't know if I should be proud or ashamed of the fact I can recognize the brand of certain bags, and the season in which they came out.

Yes. Well. Anyway. Here comes the super duper lucky b*tch bit..

My ex-semi-boss dude recently 'migrated' to another magazine, and I went along with him. With a pay increase.

Super duper lucky b*tch indeed. :)

My new job starts in November. So wish me luck dear hearts. I'm living my dream.

Things I learnt in uni..

I wrote this ages ago, but I never got around to posting it.. So here goes! Enjoy!

***

Move in with people you don’t really know. Because it might be hard to stay friends with someone once you move in with them, but it’s inevitable that you befriend the people you live with.

Pay your bills on time, and move out before your lease runs out.

Establish lines very early on. If you don’t like sharing, it should be known from the start.

Thin walls and thin floors make for funny stories.

Being drunk in public is never as fun as being drunk in your own place.

Midnight talks are reserved for those stories which involve the opposite sex. And the absence of at least a shirt. Oh yeah, you know what stories I’m talking about.

If you can’t drive, don’t be a bitch to the people who can. Seriously.

Roadtrips should be short and sweet, and the routes never repeated.

Know when to walk away, and when you should open your mouth and call someone out on their own bullshit. Pick your friends carefully.

Painting a room is always fun. DIY brings people closer together.

Don’t get stuck in one ‘circle of friends’, jump around and meet as many people as possible. You won’t feel obliged to be nice to everyone that way, and you’ll have this awesome group of friends you can’t wait to introduce to one another.

You don’t need to be friends with someone from the beginning, and you don’t have to know every single detail of someone’s live to adore them, and think of them as your best friends.

Good friends tell you things will be alright. Awesome friends tell you that you’ve been a complete idiot, and things are shitty because it’s your own fault. So get off your fat ass and do something about it.

Leave when you need to. Come back when you’re ready. People will understand.

You don’t need to spend three days on an assignment as long as what you’re writing is structured, and gets to the point straight away. (I rarely meet the target amount of words. Mine are always missing 500 or so words. And the only time I got a B was when my Granddad died.)

Pick a subject to be sucky in, and then excel on the others.

Noodles are delicious. Especially when eaten with eggs, cheese and corned beef. But eating it every meal time for a week will get you sick.

Midnight runs for food should be appreciated. You will never have as much fun, eating out at ungodly hours as when you’re in uni.

IKEA is a bad place to eat “cookies”.

Good boyfriends make awesome exes. Shitty boyfriends should be drowned at sea.

Sugar highs are really as bad as getting drunk.

Food always tastes better when you’re fighting over it.

You should skinny dip at least once. Hot springs are better than normal pools.

That's Life Coffee

So today I did a quick photo shoot of That's Life Coffee, a cool place owned by kak Arris who's a friend of my brother's. Look up his blog - it made me melt. I wish I could create stuff like that.

ANYWAYS.

I've been hearing about That's Life for a while now. First from my brother (obviously), and from my friends as well, as they seem to regularly hang out there. And for some reason or another, I've not found time yet. Until today.

image: MINE. I took it! Will appear on the November edition of Home and Decor Indonesia, in the Food Notes section.

Oh oh oh. It was perfect. Small and cosy and warm and friendly and just.. lovely. The decor was neat, unpretentious and pretty. I did a long slow exhale the moment I stepped in. A really happy long slow exhale.

I was afraid I wouldn't be able to capture the atmosphere, but I think I did a pretty good job. And a huge part of it is because of Aldy, the designer that works with me on the mag. He did a fantastic job editing! Don't the pictures just look perfect? I have the biggest EVER smile on my face right now.

image: again, MINE. Kthxbai! :)

The food was good, the price affordable. And the coffee - exactly the pick me up I needed. And the cherry on top of it all? I absolutely adore how the pictures have turned out!

Dream on darling

Today I went to the European Higher Education Fair held at Balai Kartini. Oh oh oh.. My whole body aches with the sheer force of WANT that slammed into my chest.

I've been thinking about applying for a master's degree for a while now (yes even before I graduated my from my bachelor degree).. And attending the fair made me want it just that much more.

BUT.

Work. Oh I do so love my work. So. I'm putting education on hold just for a little while. Soon enough I'll get back to it, but for now I'm working hard, saving up, and I'm going to do some proper planning.

But I'm dreaming on, I really am. I'm keeping it close to my heart and I'm feeding logs to the fire, to keep the fire burning.

Thou shalt not complain

I have it pretty good, what with doing a job I like 90% of the time, with people I adore 90% ofthe time. Work buddies I can hang out with after work, drag out to see movies and plays and music gigs, eat out with, and kidnap for quick weekend getaways.

Can I do better job-wise? Probably. But emotionally, I'm in a good place.

Idiots who bother me shall be ignored, and the hardships endured.

I have it good.

Other than my salary (oh lordy the salary..), this was my choice. I applied, I accepted.

Suck it up darling. Life is good.

I shan't complain. :)

Working on writing again.

The air wasn't any less stifling, and I didn't find it any easier to breathe.

Everything was the same, I could still hear the desperate sobbing I've heard for days, and the twisted hands on sweat drenched sheets were still white and worryingly thin.

There were no sparks or explosions.

It was just a quiet 'click' and the overwhelming desire to close my eyes.

Exorcising demons

.. I'm trying to sleep, but I spent the past hour refusing to shut my eyes because last night's nightmare was.. terrifying.

It wasn't chilling. It didn't leave me shaking. but it was just terrifying.

The details escape me now, but I was basically living one day over and over again. Wake up, make sure my two brothers are up, usher them to the kitchen, feed them, run to school. Wake up, make sure my two brothers are up, usher them to the kitchen, feed them, run to school. Over and over again.

I had become so confident in the routine that I did it with my eyes half closed.

Then the dream suddenly skipped back a night.

It showed my house, which was nice, and had a beautiful glass roof. Conveniently located next to a gothic-style church, which apparently - my parents take care of.

I understood that it was Halloween, and my mother was apprehensive about the night because 14 years before, someone dived off the highest tower and landed right in front of her. She hated Halloween ever since. And chaperoning little girls who kept running around to see the church's towers, with no fear of heights, was not her idea of fun.

I assured her that all was well and the night passed uneventfully.

So came the next day.

Wake up, make sure my two brothers are up, usher them to the kitchen, feed them, run to school.

Which I did with a smile, because something inside me was singing happily, telling me the dream was almost over.

So just as we were about to run off to school, I stopped. I dug my hands in a sack of flour and stood there frozen. Saying something over and over again..

"Please no. Don't jump. Nonononono. Please don't."

My mum and two brothers looked at me, half curious, but mostly confused. Mum reached towards me and it was at that moment I jammed my fingers in my ears and screamed. I can feel the flour in my ears, and I remember the whoosh of a heavy object landing behind me. And screaming.

Lots of screaming. Two little boys screaming endlessly, terrified. My mum choking out short bursts of alarm. And my own.

The worst sound was the stranger's scream - which stopped the moment the glass roof broke.

And amidst the chaos, I remember thinking 'An angel must have done it. An angel must have forced me to live this day over and over till I could go through it without thought. Getting my timing just right.' Because had I been late just a minute - The girl would have fallen while I looked on. Or worse - she would have fallen on top of me.

And then I woke up.

I couldn't get back to sleep. I was terrified.

And every time I closed my eyes, I'd see the same girl falling. Off buildings. Off mountains. Off airplanes.

And now I can't sleep. I'm still terrified.