- word barf 1 -

You don't know if it is a good thing that she stopped screaming. Because now she's working her way through the pile of magazines that sat at the end of your bed. Tearing each page calmly, methodically. A serene smile gracing a face so at peace that it doesn't quite match her disheveled state. You tried to hold her hands earlier but a flicker of intelligence in her eyes stopped you. Just let me be. They seemed to plead to you, nary a word spoken. So you sighed, and stroked her hair gently.

"I'll be right here." And you wonder if this time... You wonder if this time she'll come back to you.

Contemplations

The first three months of every year always finishes too quickly. Soon this feeling of elation and the whisper of brand new adventures will quickly dwindle to broken promises, could have been’s, and ‘shit-why-didn’t-I-do-that’-s.

But luckily it’s still January, and I’m in a fairly good mood. Lots of plans still to come, and many more in the making. And recently I came across some good news that got me giggling like a giddy school girl (although, admittedly.. I do tend to giggle quite easily.)

So while I’m happy.. I thought I’d write about things I’m thankful for.

My two years worth of work experience – yes, in total. Because I’m a lazy bum, and although the idea of part-timing occurred to me, I never needed it so I never went through with it. Ain’t I a privileged b*tch? – will happen in a month and a bit. March 1^st to be precise. I was lucky enough to stumble upon a first job where I learnt lots of valuable lessons and got to meet an amazing group of people who made me laugh, who would skive off work with me, and were hilarious to boot. I miss them all terribly now that I’m not entirely in love with all my co-workers in my current office. But that gripe is for my private conversations, and not the internet’s legion of ghost-faces, and creepy stalkers.

I fully realize how much a lazy-bum I am, and although I do try very hard to change it – it’s not happening quickly enough. So my work experience has largely been filled with pleasant surprises where people trust me enough to get on and work my mojo on various things I’m supposed to handle. Yes, I’ve had mini breakdowns where I thought it’d be best if I quit and never force my incompetent ways on the innocent work-force of Indonesia ever again, and days when all I wanted to do was smear mud all over people faces and stomp on their thighs (because thigh-stomping sounds more vicious than feet-stomping, but not as violent as face-stomping.).. But on the whole, I’ve never been so stressed that I ended up crying in the middle of a busy road, wailing for someone to please save me.. And I think.. I’m pretty chuffed. I’m not where I wished I was, but it’s good. Better than good in fact.. I’m in a great place right now.

I look around at my best friends, and can honestly say that while we’re not all ecstatic about where we are, with varying degrees of frustration.. We’re at least learning to walk on our own two feet. Looking back.. These people I grew up with, who I shared showerless weeks with, who wondered about our vague collective future with.. Look how far we’ve come. :)

Walk Off The Earth - Somebody That I Used to Know (Gotye - Cover)

Just.. BUH. I can't even.. This is serious ear candy. No idea who Gotye is, but Walk Off The Earth did a kickass cover of their song. And on one instrument no less. Enjoy :)

And available for download too! mp3 download: http://bit.ly/yrnlSA

Obsessions, part cinq - Where it all began: MUSIC I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

Or rather, songs with foreign languages, with lyrics I have no hope of understanding without the help of the Oh-So-Wonderful Google, and/or music that I can’t sing along to unless I stare at the lyrics for hours.

Current obsession: 2PM. Because let’s face it, much as I try to suppress it – I’m as susceptible to abs as the next girl. And oh boy, do these boys have abs. Hellooooo!

Exhibit a. AAAAABBBSSS.

Exhibit b. Dem boiz look good in fitted shirts.

And they’re hilarious to boot. Abs and comedic talent – the way to my (admittedly shallow) heart. Every. Time. But their songs are fun, and perfect for dancing madly to.

BUT! As the title suggest – this wasn’t where it all began.

1999 was a year of discovery for me, and as far as I could remember it – awesome music. Freshly landed in Jakarta, my ears were immediately assaulted with Neo’s Cewe Matre – a weird, but somewhat hilarious song about girls who are only out for money. Woke up one day to Sheila On 7’s Dan playing on MTV one day, and at one point, I was introduced to Dewa. (And back then, Indonesian was pretty much a foreign language for me! :p) And suddenly a whole new world opened..!

Up till then I was listening to Oasis and Blur and NSYNC and All Saints and Natalie Imbruglia – all brilliant artists, yes.. But all English speaking singers, with lyrics in English. The most ‘foreign’ artist I knew back then was Bjork (but she sang English songs so I figure she doesn’t count..) and Sash! (But his songs were mostly about the beats, not the lyrics). So to my utter delight, I found a sh*tload of Indonesian artists via my cousin and brother. And then.. I found Utada Hikaru.

For a time, I was obsessed with her.

She was pretty, her songs were.. amazing, and different, I didn’t understand a single f*cking word – and it was glorious. I’ve been listening to this one again non-stop:

I found the lyrics and patiently spent 10 minutes on the internet loading the page (back then, I still had dial-up internet folks!). The wait was worth it though, I was just completely mesmerized by the pretty, pretty lyrics. (And we all know how much of a whore I am for words, yes?.. At least when I’m not distracted by ABS.) 

saigo no kisu wa
tabako no flavor ga shita
nigakute setsunai kaori
(the last kiss
tasted like tobacco
a bitter and sad smell)

ashita no imagoro ni wa
anata wa doko ni iru n' darou
dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou
(tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?) 

you are always gonna be my love
itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
ima wa mada kanashii love song
atarashii uta utaeru made 

(you are always gonna be my love
even if i fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to hold on
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song)

Pretty, yes?

So yes. Utada Hikaru’s First Love got me hooked on Japanese musicians. (From there I discovered L’Arc~En~Ciel, Gackt, X Japan, etc).. Basically, I blame her for my love of songs that I DON’T UNDERSTAND BUT SOUND SO PRETTY! Mainly it's French singers, who have me wrapped around their little fingers because hot damn, French is a sexy language. With the Japanese in tie for first place because seriously. Utada Hikaru. Not to mention Bump of Chicken and School Food Punishment and Spitz and Cibo Matto and many, many, many instrumental artists I adore. (Not to mention my obsession with anime and manga in high school introduced me to a sh*tload of Japanese musicians!)

But for now, my obzeshoon is with teh Koreans.

Damn it, Carla Bruni – start singing more songs. Your voice is too smexy to be kept quiet! Either you release new songs or I ogle at ABS!

Fine. Abs it is. (For now at least ;P haha)

Lakon Animasi

This is.. Both cute and cool. From Indonesia's very own Lakon Animasi. Enjoy. :)

Obsession, part quatre

Just a little obsessed. Not so much.. But I can't stop listening to Example's songs right now. Finding his songs fun to dance around to!

First got into him after I found him from We Are Hunted, a music website I've been really into. Then saw his appearance on 8 Out of 10 Cats and Nevermind the Buzzcocks, both panel shows I've loved for ages (Nevermind anyhoo, 8 Out of 10 I've only started watching since Jon Richardson went on to be a captain.)

So yes. You can find me bouncing along to Example's songs at the most random times right now.

Caramel and whiskey.

There's something magical about soft, dull, grey drenched days.

You can't help but think that something is about to happen. Any moment now. There's something simmering under the crusts of the earth and it's going to amaze everybody.. Any moment now.

Of course nothing ever really happens.

No zombie will ever crawl towards me as I shuffle miserably to my car after a particularly grueling day at work at 2 am. No army of werewolves will howl at the moon when it looks particularly delicious, all round and golden and beautiful. And no faery will whisper in my ear, luring me to their secret mound where I shall have to resist the temptation of dewdrops and exotic looking food.

I know that Narnia isn't behind a cupboard door, no matter how many times I gleefully try to sneak inside one. I understand that no matter how pretty rose petals look, or how fragrant crushed mint leaves smell - they have no magical property whatsoever, and magic spells don't exist (and anyway, spells need far more exotic ingredients. Rose petals and mint leaves are way too common!). I realize that my car won't speak to me, even if I coax it and name it and coo at it.

Yes. I do read too many books and watch too much TV and replay movies much too often.

But if nothing else, books have taught me that anything and everything is possible. Even if it's just inside my head.

Because I understand that caramel and whiskey is a terrible combination, but the taste that lingers seems to overpower just about everything else.