Saturday, 19 February 2011

Damn you, facebook!

I moved around a lot as a kid, different cities, different countries (okay, to be fair there has only ever been two countries), different friends. And I loved every minute of it. I'm always terrified starting somewhere new, I'd get a bout of this horrible, crippling, stomach wrenching feeling of complete and utter helplessness. But there's always, always, always, someone there. Always. That one girl or boy who'd give a confident grin, someone who'd take my hands and share a book with me, or ask me if I wanted a snack. Sometimes it was just a shared smile over someone else's stupidity. And that single moment in time would cement my love of this strange, new place.

More often than not, I'd end up making other new friends, and that initial contact is soon forgotten. And these friends I made - I always thought I'd keep them for life.

On the one hand, I love how facebook got me reconnected with them, letting me glimpse into their life again. But that's just it - it's just a glimpse. It's not a real connection, and sometimes it's just not enough. I miss the people I knew, but I know those people on facebook... the ones posing with their kids, or in togas, or travelling the world.. I don't know them. And when the mood hits, I feel like shit.

It also feels extra awful when it's a fairly recent connection.

I saw a picture today. A friend who smiled. And I wondered how they were doing.