Monday, 15 August 2011


So.. I wrote this over a week ago, with the intent of posting it on this very blog:


"You know when you’re heart is beating so hard that you can feel the veins in your neck grotesquely pulsing, and just about every part of you is in pain as your stomach clenches nervously..? Yes. That.

By nature I am not a very brave person. I’m actually rather like the cowardly Lion. I’d rather hide behind the ginger kid, serving her up as a sacrificial lamb rather than face anything remotely scary head on.

To be fair, I’ve been told ginger kids are supposed to be sacrificial lambs.

Aha! Forgive me, I’ve just broken my fast, and my inner snark is itching to be released.

But to be serious..

I am rather cowardly."


The feeling of being petrified passed, but I thought it'd be a shame not to share my utter terror over sending a simple email. Yes. Sending an email.

To be fair the email may or may not change my life for the better, but still - it was only an email.

Change does terrify me though, which is weird.. Considering I moved a lot as a kid, and saying hello in front of a large classroom full of curious eyes happened at least once every three or so years. But it seems that along the way, the mere notion of change freezes me up.

It's one of those things I'm trying to deal with - wish me luck!

Knocking on doors shouldn't be too hard, right?

I'm really sorry that I occasionally serve up really annoying, cryptic posts. ;)


colson said...

I can relate to that feeling.Cowardice is my expertise: "The die has been cast" and one anxiously holds one's breath.

Yet it is teasing and intriguing post. Almost a who-dunnit. I assume it's about some kind of moving, leaving. A new job, a new guy, a new neighbourhood, a new study, ...?

Well, I'll wait. Since with invisible ink there has been written there will be a continuation.

thediplomaticwife said...

I admire you for sharing your fear. I totally get it. Whenever I need to do something that's important for me I freeze and tend to avoid it until the last minute when I have no more choice. I think it's because it matter so much to me and I pressure myself so much that I get paralyzed.

For example, right now I am still traumatized by my last 2 jobs which really took a toll on my personal life and health. Now whenever someone mentions job opportunity to me, I run the other direction screaming. So seriously, you are not alone!

P.S. Thanks so much for commenting on my blog. I replied to all of em! =) it really makes my day when people comment on my posts!

Anonymous said...

Good luck Darla. You've got a chill there xD Uncertainty always fear us, hehehe but we always ascinating wif it.

Peyuuk, atliw aku seneng sekaligus sedih baca post ini. #mellow-insomnia attack