Monday, 30 April 2012

reveling in the glorious feeling of drowning

In words. Not water.

Drowning in water is horrific and I hope to never experience it. Unless there is a promise of immediate rescue. By a super buff, abs adorned man-shaped person. A good looking, super buff, abs adorned man-shaped person. 

Hang on.

Not super buff. Just.. Well defined.

What was I talking about? Oh. Drowning. Yes.

I've recently been tasked by my wonderful ex-boss-lady of two jobs ago to write two articles in English, one a review of a cafe, and the other a review slash traveling journal type thing. I was at once excited and somewhat pissing myself with fear as it's been a while since I've used English formally. It's usually used to faff around on this 'ere blog, or to insult people in a round-about way so as to not seriously offend the person I'm insulting. (Making fun of people is a perfectly reasonable excuse to use English, I'll have you know!).. So yes. Out of practice. Pissing myself. Yes.

700 words in, and what I'm feeling right now can only be described as unreasonably happy. I worked in a magazine for two years, in which writing was basically my main job. Sure, I've felt bouts of excitement at writing at that time.. But writing in Indonesian is so f*cking hard. Like seriously. Hard. I don't know enough words! And the words that I do know are not always appropriate to be used in the context that I want it to be used.

And Indonesian is HARD.

And I also think it's not pretty.

Which I realize, is a terrible thing for an Indonesian to say. But fact of the matter is I don't think it's pretty. I know there are numerous authors who can wax lyrical to the point of writing a whole book, just playing around with the words and structure, using it to describe the most mundane things but making it sound FRIGGING WHOA. But it's not for me. I was never in love with it. I think it's an awesome language, sure. And speaking it makes it easier to learn other languages..... Some research once pointed out that Indonesian makes you twist your tongues in so many way that speaking other languages should (theoretically) be easier for Indonesians.

But I was never in love with it.

In my head, it sounds functional and brisk, and any attempts at saying things elaborately with Indonesian just sounds hilarious and always makes me collapse in a fit of giggles. Especially in movies where they're trying to make characters sound depressed. Or romantic. Hilarious.

And I am a terrible person. I know.

Which makes writing in it somewhat of a chore. I liked writing my articles, but I could have worded it so much better in English, and it would have brought tears to your eyes. Yes, I'm still happily playing at being ridiculous.

I know I'm just a lowly second user of English, and it's not my native tongue. And I still need to learn and learn and learn. But by GOD! I love it!

So now I am writing in English and it's so much fun and I can't stop. Hence this overly long, rant-y, extremely pointless post.

Eeeee! Imagine a little kid licking bowl that once housed cookie dough. Or a dog chasing his own tail. That kind of stupidly happy.

1 comment:

colson said...

See, this is why I want you to go on blogging ( as long as I live at least) :). I love it!

By the way I'm in no way competent to doubt your opinion on Indonesian, but when I hear my daughters in law ( who I hope still are daughters in love) chat with their friends it's like listening to a choir of song birds. Don't understand a syllable but the sound of it is heavenly.