silly

I have work, but instead I'm reading a shitload of things I should not be reading, knowing full well that my emotions are rather easily swayed and unstable when it comes to well written prose and angst. Because holy crap, when the hurt is good, and I feel like crying - all is well with the world.

My weakness for fiction will someday be my undoing.

I like happy stories, I like fluff - the easy (love) stories which flows without much resistance, I like it when a story feels like a perfect summer day - just warm enough to leave you with the fuzzies.. But when something leaves me shaking and torn and so utterly forlorn.. *fans self* I love sad stories. I really do. Angry stories too. I like, like, love. I love unresolved endings, characters left wondering, with closure being a vague concept for silly people who can't handle the hurt, and wanting to slam my laptop because you can't do this to me! What happens next!? Stories left not quite finished.

This is probably why I spend too much time on the internet.

I must stop reading. Work awaits.

Fuck work, I need more stories.

hum ho

I've often made fun of people who dramatically deactivate their facebook and/or twitter account for any reason. I think maybe I should apologize to some of them.

No, it's not a permanent thing.. And maybe this is a bit melodramatic on my part, but I think it would be best if I stayed away for a while. What you don't know can't hurt you, and what you don't read won't make you want to punch somebody's face in, all the while screaming "WHY!?"

It's a little silly, and entirely too late, all things considered. But hey, if other people can be a calculating bastard, then I can too.

Someday I'll return to facebook and twitter, but till then..

Adieu, adieu~

get me a guy with a voice like this, stat!

I want to have sex with his voice. Seriously. I like 'em grouchy and raspy and melty.



Okay so this one is a bit depressing, and it's been on my 'masochistic tendencies' playlist for some time. (Yes, a playlist especially dedicated for when I want to feel especially horrible and alone and broken hearted. What can I say - I like to torture myself.)

A newer, happier song. I say 'new' but this was from about 2009 I think.



This song never fails to make me happy, and a little like I should be falling in love with someone right now. Just so I can twirl them all silly-like around my living room.

early mornings always leave me rather woozy

Fact 1: Jakarta is ugly. It's too crowded and too polluted. A little too depressing, and a little too frustrating to be called anything other than a mess. And just.. it's too much.
Fact 2: If I could, I'd move away.

Fact 3: I'm a little in love anyway.

It's the way the city wakes up. All moody and unpredictable.

There are times the day starts with a fight. Golden rays rudely invading my room, abrupt and so completely unwelcome. The heat like an angry strike, too much for my sleepy skin to handle and just plain irritating. Fuck you Jakarta, why are you so happy today? The sudden hustle and bustle of the hated city life. Trudging along amongst irritated honks and death glares of fellow drones marching to their individual hells.

But then days like today make me think that hey.. You're all kinds of awesome darling. Lazy and reluctant like the embrace of a lover too soon separated. Sweet and slow, trails of yellows and blue seeping through a dull grey sky. Buildings standing tall, like zombies unsure of what to do. And just when you think the quiet is too much, the silence is broken by the occasional motorcycle or the shout of a street vendor offering hot, steamy, delicious rice congee.

A cup of coffee by my side, driving through the still empty streets, navigating through familiar roads.. I find myself thinking that even hell would have it's own legion of admirers.

I love you (for now) Jakarta, you ugly fucker.

over sharing is over caring

Here's 5 random things about me that you probably don't need to know :

1. I once came third in a group-dance competition in the whole of Jakarta. We did synchronized dancing with umbrellas. It's better that you don't ask. Suffice to say all I remember of it now is the bright red lipstick that I had to wear, and the annoyance of having to go at the very back, because I was always The Tall One.

2. My favourite colour is purple. But I own mostly black clothes, which is weird because I gravitate towards dark red things more, but I do own an ungodly amount of lime green coloured things too. So. Yes. Those four colours.

3. I get obsessed easily. In the end it's not so much that I like something but more of a 'it needs to be this way'.. So I try to restrict my obsessiveness to trivial things that won't bankrupt and/or destroy me.

4. I have two left feet. This makes learning dance moves and/or awesome martial arts moves virtually impossible, and as such I've given up on trying. And believe me, I have tried. (Although, I can still shake my booty as necessary at clubs. As long as no one tries to actually dance with me. Then I just turn into an uncoordinated mess.)

No. I have no idea how I won the competition mentioned back at numero uno. Well.. I did stand at the veeeeerrrrryyyyy back.

5. My eyes are easily attracted to The Pretty. I usually have several crushes going on at once, ranging from attainable guys I actually know, to random guys I regularly see. But honestly.. I don't fall for people all that easily. Which is hard to explain to my friends, as they do know just how easily distracted I get by guys.

So yes. 5 random facts brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.

Adieu, adieu~~

pretty~

"In imagination she sailed over storied seas that wash the distant shining shores of "faery lands forlorn", where lost Atlantis and Elysium lie, with the evening star for pilot, to the land of Heart's Desire. And she was richer in those dreams than in realities; for things seen pass away, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

L.M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island

I love Anne, as ridiculous as she is sometimes. And noisy. Always so noisy. And judgy. But I love Anne.