Wait.. what?

It's been a while since I posted anything from my trusty laptop, Willow! With her faded black keypads, chipped red enamel, and busted speakers.. This 5 year old beauty has been my trusty companion, and I miss her so.. Been abandoning her :(

Why Willow, I hear you ask? Well.. She's red, ergo Red. Ergo Willow. Look up 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. Or I may explain my love of naming all my important personal.. stuff, at a later date.

Man I can't think. Not in Indonesian, not in English, not in some mangled combination of both.

Scuse my lack of coherency.. It's 2.25 am, I'm still at the office, and I need to stab my eyes out. This anniversary issue is killing me.. BUT IT WILL BE AWESOME! I honestly can't wait to see the finished product.

But I need to stab my eyes out.

Or possibly drink myself to a day-long coma, at least then I'll have a proper hangover, with fun memories of being a crazystupid-drunk. As opposed to this hangover-like-effects from lack of sleep. I've taken to wearing sunglasses outside, at any given time.

I don't like the sun. It gives my sleep deprived brain ouchie-ouchies.

memorized ;)

I don’t have trust issues!

.. I just have issues.

Aha. Ahaha. Ahahaha.

Today’s random musing is brought to you by a random rant-y journal entry from back in 2006 when an ex of mine pointed out that I have trust issues, and I got really pissy. I don’t, by the way. Not more so than the average person, imho..

People form their opinions and perceptions of you based on the most random things, and you form your own opinion of what YOU are like based on the way you want to be seen.

I think I’m geeky, very bookish, and somewhat shy. This is because I think geeks are cool, words mean the world to me, and people scare me. But I’ve been told that although I have many interests that could be classed as ‘geeky’, I am in fact – not really all that geeky. The bookish thing people pick up on quickly enough, as I usually have a few books lying around, and I really am obsessed with words (English words to be precise..).. But the ‘somewhat shy’ bit makes people laugh. At my face. Loudly and obnoxiously.

Somewhere along the way, I’ve found it easier to talk to strangers, although they still terrify me. I can do the whole ‘small talk’ thing no probs, and my smiling-like-a-serial-killer-whenever-introduced-to-new-people thing has all but dissapeared. I attribute these changes to my super cool friends who like to drag me out to meet THEIR super cool friends. Although I still get anxious, and awkward, I guess ‘somewhat shy’ needs to be struck out of the list of words I currently use to describe myself.

Changing my own perceptions about myself is one hell of a difficult thing to do though, I have so many hang ups on things I thought were ‘not cool’ but it turns out I have to do them today, or now that I have become That-Person-I-Would-Have-Avoided-A-Million-Years-Ago, it’s a bit hard to say to myself ‘it’s okay, you’re still you..!’. As hard as it is to slap myself awake, trying to change other people’s perception of me is double-y hard. In fact, double it, square it, and times it by a million, and you’re still nowhere near close to how hard it is. Especially amongst people who grew up with me. People who saw me at my worst, and at my best, and think that they know – at heart – what I’m like.

I think I’ve all but given up on pointing out to cerain people that I’m not an opinionated 18 year old anymore (still opinionated, but not 18.. So should maybe hopefully kinda maybe know better..)

So.. Trust issues? This doesn’t seem to have much to do with the post, and truthfully – it doesn’t.. The random observation from the past triggered an hour long contemplation (in the toilet no less), and I’ve concluded the one thing that remains true from back then till now is – I don’t give a flying f***. 

;P

Obsession part Trois

Or the post in which Mousey should really learn how to spell 'obsession'. It's just one of those words my brain refuses to spell correctly. The other being 'business', my problem probably lies in the abundant number of 's's it contains.

Anyhoo!

Evil eyes. Or as they're known in Turkey - nazar boncuğu. According to the ever faithful Wikipedia page, a nazar is; "an eye-shaped amulet believed to protect against the evil eye ("evil eye", from nazar and "amulet" from boncuğu). It is common in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Turkey, Armenia, Iran and Greece. In Turkey, the nazar is often hung in offices and homes, or incorporated in jewelery.
A typical nazar is made of handmade glass featuring concentric circles or teardrop shapes in dark blue, light blue, white and black, occasionally with a yellow/gold edge."

Source: Wikipedia, w00t!

I love pendants. I have a whole box of silver pendants of various sizes. And I love pendants with a 'story', religious beliefs, traditional symbols - I eat 'em up like om-nom-nom. My longest love has been for celtic trinkets, as the first ever pendant I received from my mother was a celtic knot with a tiny amethyst bead - which I still wear quite often even today.

Evil eyes have been a favourite since my early uni days, when an aunt of mine gave me the prettiest blue-green nazar pendant. It recently broke, which spurred me on a huge nazar hunt. And here I must profess my love of the internet age once more - I LOVE YOU INTERNET!

I found this shop which sells all sort of pretty pendants (which is the source of all the images in this post, the above image included), and quite a few bracelets that I have my eyes on. The white one below is defo on my MUST GET list.. It's just too pretty!

But since I just recently went on a huge nail-polish splurge (yes, that's another one of my obsessions) - alas, these will have to wait for another month! Below are two bracelets I'm crushing on. Pretty, pretty, pretty!

Sometimes when a friend says "I think you should face your fears," what they really mean is "I want to see you piss your pants/puke your face off"

As I've mentioned many times in this blog - I'm a coward. Like srsly. I go green at the mere thought of being strapped in and being turned any which way in those death traps. Oops. I meant 'RIDES'. And I still maintain that those rides are highly unnatural. If humans were meant to have their legs up in the air, and heads on the grounds, we'd be walking with our heads. Not our legs.

But I went to Dufan. And I conquered all the rides! Halilintar.. Hysteria.. Kicir Kicir (watch the videos!).. I did it all! (Tornado was under maintenance, thank fuck.).. Cheshire cat grin on my face, voice sore from screaming, hair in a tangle from everything. I did it! I'm even rather fond of Kicir Kicir.

I'm feeling rather proud of myself. One fear down, about 99 thousand to go. Haha!

(Okay, so sometimes some friends mean well when they say "face your fears..!", and maybe I should say thank you. So, thank you, K!)