Friday 21 September 2012

worker bee blues

I haven't been happy about work since last year, and I don't think much has improved since I quit my last job and got into this whole freelance-lark. It's a bit hard to admit, since I do so adore writing, and I wouldn't trade the chance to write for a living for anything in the world.

At first I thought it was because I was working in the media, but if I think carefully - working in the media has been a fun and rewarding experience. I've met so many (no other words for it) awesome people, and have tried my hands at so many things I never thought I'd do, and ended up enjoying the experience.. well 90% of it. Which I think is a pretty good percentage, considering how many of my own friends have hated their first jobs and opting out of their chosen trade within months of starting it.

I like styling. I got to meddle in interior design and artsy-fartsy stuff, which honestly was heaven for me. And most important still - I got to write.

Quitting my job was a hard decision, especially as technically I had fun, and enjoyed the process.. but I was getting dragged down by certain persons who made my working experience not enjoyable. I thought working freelance jobs might work out well for me, but not really. I get to choose my jobs, sure.. But it's just not as fun. I don't think I'm cut out for this whole 'working on my own' thing. I prefer being in the company of other people. (I know. Say it ain't so! But I swear this is really me talking, it's weird.)

So now I'm looking around, and trying to dip my toes in something else. Something that's a bit related to my degree perhaps?

But the media world has been knocking on my door again.

Even though I said I'd never go back, and I feel like I'll be eating my own shit if I go back.. Seriously. Siren calls. I know how comfortable it is working in a magazine, and if the support system promised is actually there - it will be glorious.

Argh.

...

Reading back this post - it looks terrible and barely coherent. But I honestly don't have the energy to edit anything right now. Ah well. You'll have to bear with it.

2 comments:

colson said...

If you give in to the lure of Sirens Aphrodite will come to your rescue....

Chuzai Living said...

I was wondering how you were doing, so I'm glad I saw this post. You are very good at styling and I admired your work when I had a chance to work with you! I hope you'll find your happy place. I'm the same way. I prefer working for someone who can pay me salary rather than working for myself. It's a lot of work.