Time floated away

(Bryce Soderberg of Lifehouse, Arthur's Day, Jakarta, Indonesia. 4th Dec 2010. A version with colours more vivid is cross posted on my deviantarts page. Variations of the pic will be published in the January issue of Nylon Guys Indonesia)

His voice is raspy as he sings along to the radio, and hums fill the gaps where he doesn't quite remember the words. It is all she hears, driving 13o km/h down the highway. He turns to her and smiles, all soft and sweet and girly. She wants to tease him, but instead she grins. And for a moment he is blinded.

Tomorrow brings threats not yet delivered. But they have no prior knowledge, and for this one moment in time, their lives are perfect.

And they are in love.

Whaddap ma hommiiiieeesss!

Said in my accent, it sounds kinda.. off.

Anyhoo.

Relaxing on a gorgeous Saturday morning with a steaming mug of hot cocoa. Wish I had something stronger to lace it with. Mmmm.. *cough* Where was I? Oh yes. Sun. Sun is shinning all bright and pretty, the water in the pool is glistening deliciously, and it's just begging me to come on and take a dip. And where am I? I'm blogging in my parent's air conditioned room, because I really don't want to go to my untouched, super duper messy, shipwreck of a room.

Why am I blogging?

Because apparently I don't do enough writing at work.

No that's not it..

Because I can..! I'm reveling at the luxury of being able to do what I want to, when I want to. Oh the joy of weekends! That, and I have a laser-tag game to get to in about an hour or two. Baby cousin's birthday! I say 'baby', she's 10.. And she's turning into quite the little terror. I love her to bits, but I didn't own that much make up till I was.. 11? 12? Haha. I was going to say 15, but then I realised I started to wear nail polish and make up to school everyday when I was 12.. That stopped when I came back to Indonesia *waves fist at oppresive schools around the country*.

So really we're not all that different. But wait! I didn't have two super awesome 20-something cousins when I was her age. Ah well.. Hugs baby girl, you're all grown up..!

I realize I'm rambling.

But Saturdays are warm and soft and safe. You can't help but be a little wistful, and ramble a little, spitting out every single thing you can think of.. And really, this whole writing out my thought as-they-come-by thing is uber nice. Maybe not for those who end up reading it, but certainly for me.

Yes, my thoughts are really quite inconsequential most of the times.

You should feel lucky that I'm just rambling and my brain isn't serving up some inane questions that I have no answers too. It does that a lot. The significance of cheeseburgers in friendship for instance..

No. I won't go there.

I think I shall go forth and shower now.

Ciao! Adieu! Goodbye dear hearts!

So. Feckin'. Tired.

I think I'm starting to develop this bad habit of enjoying my job just a little too much.

I'm swamped. I run around all day, calling people up, setting up interviews, setting up photoshoots, looking up prices, looking for stock photos.. etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

An (un..?)fortunate side effect is I've begun to have favourite.. things. Chairs, lamps, designers.. etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. It feels quite bizarre to be walking along and then suddenly coo at tiles. I coo. At tiles. I'll say it again - I coo at tiles.

This may be my exhaustion taking over me, but I just can't stop laughing at this fact..!

And this.. this is my favouritest most favourite chair. I want one so bad..!

Eames Eiffel Plastic Armchair.

But this being tired thing is ridiculous. I have no time for anything.. And it's stand-up comedy DVD season! I MUST FIND SOME STAND UP DVDs SOON!

Oh heartbreak!

Isn't it just pretty? Just absolutely gorgeous? I want my Furrow eco friendly leather bag in navy blue (yes, that's the name..*wails*). A seller going by the name of Hoakon/Helga at etsy sells these absolutely breathtaking leather bags from repurposed materials, old leather jackets reimagined into pretty bags, with pretty linings (yes, also repurposed if possible.).. Eco friendly, and pretty, and durable! What more can a girl want?

.

Unfortunately mine got lost in the mail. At least I think it did.

.

It's been a month, but I'm not giving up! I'm going to go over and see if they've kept it for some insane reason.

.

I've never had problems with shipping as I have purchased many, many things from etsy (okay so 10 isn't exactly 'many', but yes.), but lately the Indonesian post has been.. shall we say.. 'moody'? 'PMS-ing'? Point is, this is my second shipment that's gone weird. Grrr.

.

Wait. Third. Counting a shirt and Twix(es?) the wonderful A sent me. I also want my shirt and my Twix!

.

I'm not exaggerating by tagging this post as 'the horrible feeling of woe', as this is extremely woeful to me. My heart is breaking at the thought of not getting this wonderful bag.

.

No. I'm not a drama queen.

.

*sulks in a corner*

lucky break for the lucky b*tch

I'm one of those annoying people who always manages to land on her feet, gracefully, in a pair of gorgeous Louboutins, not a hair out of place, not a drop of sweat on my face.

Well figuratively. Because in person, I'm rather ungraceful. I have two left feet, and my idea of landing gracefully is just about managing to stay upright, with my limbs intact (my knees have a nasty habit of dislocating itself).

But I digress.

A long time ago, when I was a wee highschooler, I wanted to get into English Lit. or Interior Design. My mother dissuaded me from English Lit. because 1.) I knew most of the lecturers from the faculty of the uni I wanted to get into. 2.) Not only did they know me, they were also my babysitters, as mum had a habit of dragging me to work so we can spend time together. And 3.) She thought I'd get frustrated if asked to dissect books and/or authors I love (I don't see why, we do this anyway!)..

And Design.. Well.. My brother went into Product Design. He managed to drill into me that Product Design was way cooler than Interior Design. And one day I sneaked into his room while he was working and realized I didn't burn for it the way he did. My brother was (and still is) a cranky person when forced to do what he doesn't want to, so to see him so.. happy and excited bent over a pile of papers, surrounded by books.. Well. I knew it just wasn't for me.

But all I wanted to do was write. All I ever wanted to do was write (and be an archeologist, but that's another story all together)..

So I chose Product Design. And put 'writing' to the back of my mind. I didn't get accepted though. D'uh. (I can't draw or create for shit).. Luckily I had International Relations as a back up plan. Well not so much a 'back up plan' as a 'I-accidentally-applied-because-my-friend-said-it-was-fun' kind of thing.

When I saw what would be in store for me, I was terrified. And absolutely horrified. Economy? Law? Politics!? It just wasn't me.

So imagine my surprise when I enjoyed the classes. I was still crap at economy, and barely managed to pass those classes, but I was surprisingly pleased with all the subjects that contained 'law' in the names. A's all around for law. And politics.. politics was fun. The analyzing, the poking and prodding.. FUN. I ended up loving it.

It took me a while to graduate though, and yes, at one point I was so frustrated that I wish I never touched politics at all. But hey - I got through it.

Then comes work.

I stumbled into a job as an editor (slash photographer, slash stylist, slash art director, slash anything they can make me do, they'll send me off to do it).. Met some amazing people, got into a truckload of interesting situations.. And lamented the pay.

Anyone who works in the media in Indonesia will confirm how shit the pay is. Especially for fresh grads.

But I was writing for a living! WRITING. And get this - I was working in an interior design magazine! How frakkin' awesome was that? 15 year old me would be so impressed. And 9 year old me would just be shitting herself. WRITING!

The thing is, I worked two magazines, the interior design and the other one is a men's fashion magazine. I never thought I'd be into fashion, especially men's fashion.. But it really is fun! And I don't know if I should be proud or ashamed of the fact I can recognize the brand of certain bags, and the season in which they came out.

Yes. Well. Anyway. Here comes the super duper lucky b*tch bit..

My ex-semi-boss dude recently 'migrated' to another magazine, and I went along with him. With a pay increase.

Super duper lucky b*tch indeed. :)

My new job starts in November. So wish me luck dear hearts. I'm living my dream.

Things I learnt in uni..

I wrote this ages ago, but I never got around to posting it.. So here goes! Enjoy!

***

Move in with people you don’t really know. Because it might be hard to stay friends with someone once you move in with them, but it’s inevitable that you befriend the people you live with.

Pay your bills on time, and move out before your lease runs out.

Establish lines very early on. If you don’t like sharing, it should be known from the start.

Thin walls and thin floors make for funny stories.

Being drunk in public is never as fun as being drunk in your own place.

Midnight talks are reserved for those stories which involve the opposite sex. And the absence of at least a shirt. Oh yeah, you know what stories I’m talking about.

If you can’t drive, don’t be a bitch to the people who can. Seriously.

Roadtrips should be short and sweet, and the routes never repeated.

Know when to walk away, and when you should open your mouth and call someone out on their own bullshit. Pick your friends carefully.

Painting a room is always fun. DIY brings people closer together.

Don’t get stuck in one ‘circle of friends’, jump around and meet as many people as possible. You won’t feel obliged to be nice to everyone that way, and you’ll have this awesome group of friends you can’t wait to introduce to one another.

You don’t need to be friends with someone from the beginning, and you don’t have to know every single detail of someone’s live to adore them, and think of them as your best friends.

Good friends tell you things will be alright. Awesome friends tell you that you’ve been a complete idiot, and things are shitty because it’s your own fault. So get off your fat ass and do something about it.

Leave when you need to. Come back when you’re ready. People will understand.

You don’t need to spend three days on an assignment as long as what you’re writing is structured, and gets to the point straight away. (I rarely meet the target amount of words. Mine are always missing 500 or so words. And the only time I got a B was when my Granddad died.)

Pick a subject to be sucky in, and then excel on the others.

Noodles are delicious. Especially when eaten with eggs, cheese and corned beef. But eating it every meal time for a week will get you sick.

Midnight runs for food should be appreciated. You will never have as much fun, eating out at ungodly hours as when you’re in uni.

IKEA is a bad place to eat “cookies”.

Good boyfriends make awesome exes. Shitty boyfriends should be drowned at sea.

Sugar highs are really as bad as getting drunk.

Food always tastes better when you’re fighting over it.

You should skinny dip at least once. Hot springs are better than normal pools.

That's Life Coffee

So today I did a quick photo shoot of That's Life Coffee, a cool place owned by kak Arris who's a friend of my brother's. Look up his blog - it made me melt. I wish I could create stuff like that.

ANYWAYS.

I've been hearing about That's Life for a while now. First from my brother (obviously), and from my friends as well, as they seem to regularly hang out there. And for some reason or another, I've not found time yet. Until today.

image: MINE. I took it! Will appear on the November edition of Home and Decor Indonesia, in the Food Notes section.

Oh oh oh. It was perfect. Small and cosy and warm and friendly and just.. lovely. The decor was neat, unpretentious and pretty. I did a long slow exhale the moment I stepped in. A really happy long slow exhale.

I was afraid I wouldn't be able to capture the atmosphere, but I think I did a pretty good job. And a huge part of it is because of Aldy, the designer that works with me on the mag. He did a fantastic job editing! Don't the pictures just look perfect? I have the biggest EVER smile on my face right now.

image: again, MINE. Kthxbai! :)

The food was good, the price affordable. And the coffee - exactly the pick me up I needed. And the cherry on top of it all? I absolutely adore how the pictures have turned out!

Dream on darling

Today I went to the European Higher Education Fair held at Balai Kartini. Oh oh oh.. My whole body aches with the sheer force of WANT that slammed into my chest.

I've been thinking about applying for a master's degree for a while now (yes even before I graduated my from my bachelor degree).. And attending the fair made me want it just that much more.

BUT.

Work. Oh I do so love my work. So. I'm putting education on hold just for a little while. Soon enough I'll get back to it, but for now I'm working hard, saving up, and I'm going to do some proper planning.

But I'm dreaming on, I really am. I'm keeping it close to my heart and I'm feeding logs to the fire, to keep the fire burning.

Thou shalt not complain

I have it pretty good, what with doing a job I like 90% of the time, with people I adore 90% ofthe time. Work buddies I can hang out with after work, drag out to see movies and plays and music gigs, eat out with, and kidnap for quick weekend getaways.

Can I do better job-wise? Probably. But emotionally, I'm in a good place.

Idiots who bother me shall be ignored, and the hardships endured.

I have it good.

Other than my salary (oh lordy the salary..), this was my choice. I applied, I accepted.

Suck it up darling. Life is good.

I shan't complain. :)

Working on writing again.

The air wasn't any less stifling, and I didn't find it any easier to breathe.

Everything was the same, I could still hear the desperate sobbing I've heard for days, and the twisted hands on sweat drenched sheets were still white and worryingly thin.

There were no sparks or explosions.

It was just a quiet 'click' and the overwhelming desire to close my eyes.

Exorcising demons

.. I'm trying to sleep, but I spent the past hour refusing to shut my eyes because last night's nightmare was.. terrifying.

It wasn't chilling. It didn't leave me shaking. but it was just terrifying.

The details escape me now, but I was basically living one day over and over again. Wake up, make sure my two brothers are up, usher them to the kitchen, feed them, run to school. Wake up, make sure my two brothers are up, usher them to the kitchen, feed them, run to school. Over and over again.

I had become so confident in the routine that I did it with my eyes half closed.

Then the dream suddenly skipped back a night.

It showed my house, which was nice, and had a beautiful glass roof. Conveniently located next to a gothic-style church, which apparently - my parents take care of.

I understood that it was Halloween, and my mother was apprehensive about the night because 14 years before, someone dived off the highest tower and landed right in front of her. She hated Halloween ever since. And chaperoning little girls who kept running around to see the church's towers, with no fear of heights, was not her idea of fun.

I assured her that all was well and the night passed uneventfully.

So came the next day.

Wake up, make sure my two brothers are up, usher them to the kitchen, feed them, run to school.

Which I did with a smile, because something inside me was singing happily, telling me the dream was almost over.

So just as we were about to run off to school, I stopped. I dug my hands in a sack of flour and stood there frozen. Saying something over and over again..

"Please no. Don't jump. Nonononono. Please don't."

My mum and two brothers looked at me, half curious, but mostly confused. Mum reached towards me and it was at that moment I jammed my fingers in my ears and screamed. I can feel the flour in my ears, and I remember the whoosh of a heavy object landing behind me. And screaming.

Lots of screaming. Two little boys screaming endlessly, terrified. My mum choking out short bursts of alarm. And my own.

The worst sound was the stranger's scream - which stopped the moment the glass roof broke.

And amidst the chaos, I remember thinking 'An angel must have done it. An angel must have forced me to live this day over and over till I could go through it without thought. Getting my timing just right.' Because had I been late just a minute - The girl would have fallen while I looked on. Or worse - she would have fallen on top of me.

And then I woke up.

I couldn't get back to sleep. I was terrified.

And every time I closed my eyes, I'd see the same girl falling. Off buildings. Off mountains. Off airplanes.

And now I can't sleep. I'm still terrified.

EID MUBARAK!

To all and sundry, if I have wronged you in any way, please forgive me :)

So.

Today I count my blessings.

Choices

If you lived two lives, not quite understanding which is real.. which would you pick?

- A perfect world with everything you ever wanted within reach, with loved ones expecting nothing from you but your continued happiness or..
- A world where you had to fight for everything, and your failure will result in their suffering..?

Hang on.. I'm not done yet, don't make your mind up yet.

Keep in mind you have to pick one, and in picking one.. you will have to leave the other completely, disappointing the people you leave behind.

Remember - you don't know which world is real.

Yes, I've been watching/reading/thinking too much of scifi and fantasy stuff.

And the mindfuck is supremely delicious.

hum ho, here it is again.

Dear Person,

I feel stupid for writing a letter to you, as it is quite obvious to even the the stupidest person that you will never read this stupid letter. And even if you do, I think it's pretty obvious that you'd think I was being stupid.

Stupidity aside..

You were absolutely right. You were right about things I wish you weren't right about, and you were right about things that I thought you got wrong, but time has eventually revealed that you were right about.. we.. everything, all along. It's really quite annoying the number of times you've been proven right, and the number of times you could have said 'I told you so'. Oh Person, I'm glad you're not (really) the gloating type.

So.

Person, you really are quite swell. Oh you're not perfect, there's a million and one things that piss me off that I wish I could tell you about.. But you know that that just isn't possible. And anyway, you really are quite fine the way you are.

But that's not what this entry is about. Oh no.

Here it is in a nutshell.. You were right, and I was wrong. And the number of times this has happened may have made me quite frustrated and quite unable to seek second opinions.

BUT.

Ah here's the but..

BUT.. I think I'm good now. I mean, obviously The Matter Which We Discussed has not been solved yet, but yesterday I found myself knocking on a door to ask about The Matter Which We Discussed for a second opinion. There was no one home unfortunately, but nevertheless I knocked.

And I felt good about knocking. I may knock on more doors in the coming weeks.

I would like to say that I can knock now, and I shan't rely on your sole opinion (important thought it is), rest easy, Person.

I'm quite alright.

So it's done..

My under-grad thesis is done, it's been tried and tested. I graduate with a shiny 'A'.

Thank you all and sundry :)

people peeple pepple

Maybe it's time to lay down the title of 'Awkward Fucker'. No. Not as in a sexual fuck, but as in 'person'.

Let me explain.. The thing is, I'm not as chatty in real life, nor as eloquent (if you can consider my blog eloquent), nor as witty (please, just humor me :p).. I've been known to fumble my way through social situations, babble incoherently at strangers and sometimes I just smile, cock my head to the side and pretend like I know what's going on. Hence 'Awkward Fucker'. I try to avoid meeting new people unless I have to and when I stumble into things.. I'm.. well.. Awkward. With a capital A.

Was.

Sort of.

I'm not suddenly a social butterfly, but I think I've gotten better. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but these days I enjoy meeting new people. LE GASP. Maybe it's experience, maybe it's my job (which forces me to communicate well with strangers), or maybe I'm finally maturing into one of those people who can talk to other people without wanting to puke, like.. you know.. NORMAL people.

I hear normal people socialize without wanting to run and hide away in a cave somewhere.

I think I'm turning 'normal'. Mwaha.

I'm liking this (somewhat) recent development. Fingers crossed it's not just a phase. Because really - people aren't so bad. (Especially if they've been selected by my trusted friends, and I've been told they were exceptionally fun. And so far, none of my friends have failed me and introduced me to a freak who wants to sniff my cat and pee in my garden.)

Oh. And by 'meeting people' I don't mean for romantic purposes.. Just.. meeting people in general..!

The long dark tea time of the soul..

I've recently encountered problems in my professional life, one which I had taken for granted I would never have met, considering the awesomeness of my immediate work-buddies.

They're a fabulous bunch, and I really was fond of every one. Which I've been told is a rare thing to happen in an office.

Not to say that everything was perfect, but the people.. the people were fantastic.

A couple of posts ago I lamented the fact that a few of them were leaving, albeit obscurely.. but yes. I wasn't happy. Then new people came into the office and balance was restored. Before a horrible storm brewed up and these people were taken away from me again. Which truth be told, pissed me off a lot, hence the long dark tea time of the soul which resulted in posts which were not to my usual standard of happy, chirpy, cheery posts.

I can't say that things are better, not by far (if anything it's getting worse).. But I can say I've made up my mind not to let it bother me anymore than it already has.

And hey, there are things going for me now which make me really happy.

So I shan't complain anymore.

Just wanted to drop by to say that.

--- end Long Dark Tea Time Of The Soul ---

Hearts a-crying.

It was raining five minutes ago.

18 floors up it looked like Jakarta had been gassed. A misty cloud obscures the streets from view while unforgiving pellets shoot at the window, making everything that little bit harder to see. Now.. Now the sky is dull, like a white wall that's seen too many childish hands.

Uncomfortable, unsettled and extremely uninspired.

Or maybe that's just me, projecting my moods.

It's cold and I'm tired.

Grey.. Tired and wired and mean..*

*The Weepies - "Gotta Have You"

Subtext! I LOVE subtext! Mostly because I never quite seem to be able to say what I mean.

Picked the song because that line basically represents how I'm feeling at the moment. Exhaustion is.. Ever present, and it doesn't look like it's going to go away anytime soon. Lesigh.

My job is as ever.. Tiring. Sometimes a good kind of tired, and sometimes the thought of collapsing on my bed is the only thing keeping me going. Ho humm. Such is life I guess. Ups and downs, and the hula-hoop goes 'round and 'round.

Red eyes and fire and signs,

I'm taken by a nursery rhyme,

I want to make a ray of sunshine, and never leave home..

Wish I could stay home. For a while longer. But.. Meh. I've met a lot of wonderful people, and I've learnt so much, so I shan't complain.

Anyways. What about that Ariel and Luna Maya and Cut Tari sex vids, eh?

How mousey got her groove back, or The ode to an omelette

I always go into it thinking that it's going to be a quick, painless, rather joyful burst of fulfillment. It's never like that though. Never.

There's always the drama of crying over spilled milk, the question of going at it traditionally or maybe trying something a little bit more exciting. And then there's the issue about timing. I'm one of those pesky individuals who have to time everything just so. It has to be right, or I just.. leave.

I don't understand why it can't ever be simple. But then again, once you acquire a taste for it..

It's just too hard to let well enough alone.

*

Yes, I am literally talking about an omelette. No, it doesn't refer to anything else.
And yes. I am that fussy about omelettes.
Yes, REALLY.

The title may have been inspired by a fanfic somewhere.

Gone

They left.

One by one they left. Leaving behind scratches and scraps, remnants of something that was once so beautiful. So perfect.

And here I am. Alone.

Restless but unmoving. A dead weight on the bed as my eyes madly trace imaginary patterns on the white washed walls, desperately trying to focus on one single thing. My hands lay numb by my sides, twitching every so often, wanting.. needing to move.

Nothing is holding me down but I'm paralyzed.

They're gone. The beautiful creations of man that I once happily drowned myself in.

The words are gone, and my thoughts are tangled and caught in a web of confusion, an incoherent mess with no end.

For the first time in so long, I'm alone.

I swear. The words are gone and I'm feeling lonely and somewhat lost. I used to write so much shit and it was all stupid and wonderful and frustratingly addictive. But I can't anymore. And yes, it makes me sad.

Oh how quickly the laughter fades

Wonderful, wonderful people, can't you stay forever?
Or just a little while longer?



I do so hate to say goodbye.

Life is life is life.

The History Boys is a play by Alan Bennet which was adapted into a movie back in 2006. There was one thing that stuck with me.. A quote about history which Rudge, one of the characters said;

How do I define history? It's just one fuckin' thing after another.

And that.. perfectly sums up what I think life is. A series of events which sometimes overlap. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a practical way of viewing life. I can always compare it to other things - rollercoasters being the most common one, or maybe a box of chocolates (thank you, Forrest Gump), but at the end of the day it is indeed - one fuckin' thing after another.

When all the words in the world can't quite say it...

+ . +

~

Be warned.. SQUEE POST!

Squee according to urban dictionary;
A noise primarily made by an over-excited fangirl.

So. New episodes of Doctor Who featuring Matt Smith as the eleventh Doctor, complete with a new TARDIS and a new sonic screwdriver.

But before I start, I have to admit that I only got into Doctor Who a couple of months ago, starting on Chris Eccleston's ninth Doctor. So I'm no expert on the minute details of the TARDIS, the Doctor's mannerisms etc.. This squee post is from a new fan's point of view, please don't clobber my n00b-ness.

Lesse.. I wasn't all that enthusiastic on Eleven's first appearance when he replaced Ten, in fact I thought it was a bit too over the top. Mind you, I'm a big fan of David Tennant's tenth Doctor, and I was sort of still teary eyed over his reluctance to regenerate. So yes.

And then came the months of waiting, until finally this appeared;



I have to say I was a little bit intrigued. But as always, I never trust trailers. (Insert a call back to my horror at the Star Trek movie trailer.)

And then FINALLY. The Eleventh Hour. The introductory episode for Eleven.

Matt Smith as Eleven : I loved how he was sort of a little bit Ten, but still managing to be different. I loved the lines the writers gave him and the outfit.. works. The stills looked odd, but after seeing the episode and how he carried it off, the outfit definitely works for him. And his 'what, what? WHAT?' made me squee a little.. okay a lot. On the whole, I really did like him.

Amy Pond : I loved loved loved the little kid who played mini-Amy! She was adorable and sweet and perfect. Was also very taken with adult-Amy. I loved the details in Amy's life - her job, her trips to see the shrink, the Raggedy-Doctor things she made, and how everyone knew of the Raggedy-Doctor, recognizing him on sight. And her boyfriend - I predict funny things from Nurse Rory.

TARDIS and the sonic screwdriver : I wasn't so sure of the TARDIS's new look at first, it was.. big. And a lot shinier than the last one, neater and more polished. But then all the details I wasn't so sure about at first made me squee when I watched it again. So so so pwetty! The sonic screwdriver.. well not much to say about that really.

Other bits.. Loved the part where they showed the world through the Doctor's eyes. Wasn't so sure about the cryptic messages.. would rather be given hints throughout the show like the Bad Wolf messages in Ten's time. Thought the storyline was meh, it was good but it wasn't great. Having said that I really really like the montage of the past Doctors' faces, and then Eleven stepping through Ten's face. Awesome. Also liked how he told off the giant eye, even though I had to stop myself from making Lord Of The Ring jokes.. (The Doctor would so kick Sauron's ass.).. The 'whats to come' bit at the end has me intrigued. Did I spot vampires? And the Doctor with a gun??

Am also curious on how reliant Eleven will be on the sonic screwdriver. Hopefully not so much. Would love to see him fiddle more, rather than the whole 'point-and-voila' thing Ten had going on.

*excited bounce* (Just for you, A)

Can't wait for next week!!

Le sigh..

An incredibly sweet vid which made me sigh. Thanks to my friend at the office who pointed me towards it!

Well then.

My last post was actually accidental, but since Opa Colson wrote a comment on it. I'm going to keep it as is.

So. Yes.

I dunno.

I feel like writing but my brain is a bit frazzled. I should probably use it more so that it doesn't act up when I kick it and make it think. Silly brain.

*lesigh*

I

On words, magic and resolutions.

For a title that long, this is going to be one helluva short entry.

I believe in magic, I do. I do.

Maybe it's because I'm a n00b..

But I quite enjoy the routine I've gotten into, what with waking up early, going to work, coming home and then sleeping at midnight.

I'm enjoying my tiny cubicle and the work I'm given.. Which is weird, because it's work my friends have given to me all through university - translating stuff. Maybe it's because I get paid with money instead of favours. Maybe it's the stuff I'm translating.. Because honestly, just about anything beats the pain of translating English texts to Indonesian on the subject of *legasp* politics.

I'm kinda shocked I got the job actually, I know next to nothing about the stuff that's in the magazines I'm working on (hint, Colson! Hint! Hahaha.) and I thought I did a shit job at my translating test when I was being interviewed, as English is a pretty language, while my grasp of Indonesian is sketchy at best. Hehehe. Well. Here's to improving my Indonesian, more photography work (please, please, please!) and my tiny cubicle!

The girl who..

Day 3 at the office. Had a photoshoot planned, with ME as the photographer.. First test - EEE! Was so super duper excited I started emailing everybody!

Only.. The shoot didn't go as planned. Oh we had everything we needed, and I was happily planning what goes where with my co-worker who was in charge of the shoot, when lo-behold.. I dislocated my knee. Again. For the umpteenth time.

If it was my right knee, I would have dealt with it with a wink and a twinkle in my eye. Unfortunately it was my left knee, and it was the first time I dislocated that one. I've forgotten how painful first times are. Mind out of the gutter please, I'm talking about a painful experience here! Hahaha.. Anyway, I was in so much pain, I couldn't slam it back in place like I usually could. So I gave my dad a call and waited for him to arrive. Good thing his office is near!

It'd be an understatement if I said everything sort of fell apart from there. I spent the next couple of hours resting my leg. Grraggh. Thanks to Reza who stayed with me in the meeting room where I sat on our set, looking like an idiot. Ah well.

I was hoping I wouldn't be known as 'the girl who dislocated her knee' at least in place. T'wasnt meant to be! Haha. I don't mind tho'..

In the end we did the shoot as planned and hopefully it looks good enough that I'm given more photography assignments. YAY! Because seriously, I love the feeling of reading 'Stylist and Photography : Atri'.

(Even though to be honest Reza did as much as I did when it came to arranging the set.)

WHOOHOO!

I'm really really really enjoying my job so far.

Fingers crossed it'll last a while!

My 24th, with a BANG!

.. Or maybe it would be more accurate if I said it started with a 'DO DO DOO! DO DO DO DOO!' ala Third Eye Blind's Semi Charmed Life.. Something along the lines of.

HELLO DEAR WORLD, I AM 24!!
And I have been for.. A little over 24 hours now.

This is a whirlwind account of one of my bestest birthdays ever.

It started off with a cousin's night out. 8 of us went out for drinks and singing. No, not karaoke.. We went to Trip at Kemang. Mike's Apartment (a band which turned out to have a distant cousin of mine as the vocalist) was on, singing what can only be described as one of the most awesome playlists EVARRR. We drank, ate peanuts, and shouted every single song out (not singing.. we were shouting).. We were a loud crowd.. But then, everyone else was just as loud.

Mike's Apartment. Trip. Every Friday. - Highly recomended.

The ride home was hilarious as hell, with my youngest cousin (there) singing random songs, complete with hand movements. Actually.. most of our entertainment that night came from a very, very drunk 17 year old. If only our numbers were complete.. But things were awesome just the way they were. And #cousinsnightout HAS to be repeated. Repeatedly.

The day passed uneventfully.. What with me waking up to my dad thoroughly entranced by the TV, that he forgot to wish me a happy birthday till I pinched him. Haha. Funny, dad. Funny. (It was funny, actually).. Had my hair cut.. Bought a white blouse FOR MONDAY (new JOB! YAY!)..

I went out for dinner with a good friend of mine, and while we were out we had to try out clothes. of course. And this ended badly - with me spending a little birthday dosh on a little (dark grey to) black dress, which made me look oh so deliciously curvy. Instead of the usual lumpy, somewhat mis-shappen silhouette I have grown to love. Had Indian food (our fave!), and somehow stumbled along to a free 15 minutes massage-therapy thing, and laughed at people.

All in all, I was ready to turn in for the night.. When lo, behold! This sight greeted me the moment I stepped I arrived at the second floor of my house:


And so I laughed for 10 minutes straight.

I managed to miss my own surprise party, complete with cake and presents. Ahahahaha..! Oops? Thank you to Jo for the cake and the present she took with her, Rama and Manda for the presents they left, and to anyone else (if indeed there were any) who came. Even if I didn't get to see you, you guys made my day!

And Twinno, for being an annoying bitch-boy, I'm still 2 seconds away from kicking your ass. But for being an unbelievably sweet guy (slash bastard), I'm hugging you. A lot. Now behave, so things can go back to being normal!

And thank you AbangDanisPutiBilaRaiAlAbi, MumDadGramps, RIFA (I almost forgot to mention my brat 9 year old cousin who made me the cutest pressies and gave me a cupcake), Tia, Colson for the emails and count-down.. And everyone else who wished me a happy birthday.

SMOOCHIES!

Zombies, indeed

I've been playing this game for a couple of months now.. I still can't stop. It's.. annoyingly addictive. And it got me thinking..

I think I'd rather be one of the early victims. A zombie when I wake up first thing in the morning. I don't want to run around scared.

Yes. Important thoughts in the middle of the night.

I leave you with a cute song from the game!

Love, love, love comedy

Cowards.
Featuring : Tim Key, Tom Basden, Stefan Golaszewski and Lloyd Woolf

Wish there were more than 3 episodes. *sigh*

They're not as obviously-funny as The Mitchell and Webb Look (another sketch show from the Beeb), but I love how it makes me suddenly laugh (I'm inclined to think I like Cowards more actually.. *legasp* I still love Mitchell and Webb though!)

So. The Melbourne comedy fest is looming.. and there's about 10 acts I want to go see (among them Jon Richardson! And Garfunkel and Oates! And Adam Hills! And Sarah Millican, and Dead Cat Bounce, and Tim Key, and.. the list goes on..) It really, really sucks. It's only a couple of hours away, and I wish I had money. Money can solve all my problems.

Well. Not all maybe. I doubt it can solve the lack of guys that catch my interest, and it wont stop my cat from presenting me with bits of insect and geckos.. but it may solve my shelving problem. Hmmm. Either way, having some money won't hurt. Haha!

Here's some Garfunkel and Oates to make you (and me!) laugh.



It's quite a sweet song when you think about it. Call it my late Valentines for the internet. Hahaha.

Oh I might as well..

While I'm here.. 2 new pics! I'm loving the grainy black and white look at the moment. And yes, I'm still all about the squares. They speak to the symmetry-freak in me.

These two are close friends of mine, and let me tell ya, they were fantastically fun to shoot.



Shot using a Nikon D80 and a lensbaby composer lens. As always, also available on my dA account.

On facebook, netiquette and parental supervision

Rule number one of the internet : Never talk about the internet.

Oh hang on.. Sorry. I was thinking of Fight Club there for a second.

The internet. It's a wonderful place, yes? Full of information and possibilities and people. Oh I know there are plenty of bots around, but people.. People make the internet a wonderful place to explore. It also makes it oh-so-dangerous.

Rule number one of the internet : Be sensible.

There's been a couple of stories on the news lately of teenage girls going missing after meeting up with people they've met on the internet. While it is a worrying thing - the internet isn't to blame. Specifically - facebook isn't to blame.

I've been on the internet for more than 10 years now, I'm healthy, (sort of) sane and pretty much in one piece. No, I didn't really have parental supervision when I started out - mostly because I sneaked on when my parents weren't looking. When they did realize I've been using the computer for things like chatting and surfing however, they told me one thing : be sensible. Don't give out personal information. Don't be an idiot.

I realize with things like facebook and myspace and friendster and hi5 and all those other social-networking sites, you do end up giving out personal information. Things like your name, and maybe place of work and/or school - but you really don't have to fill all the spaces provided. You can omit those details and no one is likely to complain. they can always message you if they need to contact you.

And yes, I know you can meet people on the internet. I, myself have been lucky enough to have met some really wonderful people. It's not likely I'll ever meet any of them, sure.. but I have received packages - expected and unexpected - from them. Gifts that I treasure and keep in a special place. And if I ever do decide to meet any of them.. Well I'm going to be sensible.

Is it too much if I say that it's common sense that if you're going to meet up with someone you have never met before, you go to a public place? Filled with people and preferably somewhere familiar to both parties. Go with other people, bring at least two or three friends along.. And for God's sake, don't go anywhere "private" with them! Not to a quiter place, and definitely not to their cars!

Yes, I know it was horrible that these girls went missing, and yes I suppose I am selfish for saying this. But I do hope those few idiots doesn't ruin the internet for everyone else.

Our government right now is at a place where they're likely to do anything to make sure they stay in the good graces of the public. And while many would be outraged at the possibility of over-policing the internet, I fear many more will cry out that certain sites just be banned outright.

Maybe netiquette should be made part of the curriculum in school.

Or better yet - teach common sense.

It seems that most of the problems in Indonesia could be solved with just a little bit of common sense. *sigh*

Ist this a bovveréd face thou seest before thee?

I love Catherine Tate. She's so pwetty! Though not as Lauren Cooper.


See? Pretty! Though apparently it's mostly girls that find her attractive. Me, I just have a thing for red-heads. And David Tennant - oh Mr. Tennant, sir! *swoon*

Edit: I just realized that it might make more sense if I mentioned that David Tennant was the tenth Doctor on the series Doctor Who, and Catherine Tate was one of his companions. That's why I found the Doctor Who reference and her "bite me, alien boy!" bit hilarious. :D

Never you

I know it's not you,
it never is.
But still I turn my head,
and sigh..
.. and curse.

Every corner,
at every stop sign,
Everywhere.
I always see..
.. something.

But not you,
never you.

I really should stop looking.

Because everyone reads twitter, and a blog post is too revealing.
.. and because I still miss you. Sometimes.

Jump! Turn! TWIST!

(for some reason I can't post a bigger version of this pic. Graarrgghh..)

I think by the end of my 5 minutes of directing her moves, she was too dizzy to be pissed off at me for telling her to jump and spin around. Ahahaha!

The photo came from the same series of shots I took while I was at Bromo with the family, though I think I prefer the outcome/edit of my previous shot. Although that one looked gloomier.

I should go out and take moar pictchoores.. Oh wit what did you say, conscience? Thesis? What thesis..?? Meh. I should stop distracting myself. Procrastination is evil and should be avoided. Know that I am nodding wisely.

Mousey is a shameless hussy ;P

As a kid I used to get pissed off at adults who didn't get excited over birthdays, I used to think people who didn't do a one month countdown to their birthday was weird.

So in honour of myself as a kid.. I'm gonna psych myself up for my birthday this year! Not quite a full month of countdown - just 27 days.. Under the tag #atriisashamelesshussy on twitter, I'm going to post my birthday wishes; stuff I want, people I want to see on my birthday and ideas on what I want to do to celebrate Feb the 27th.

I'll post the full list here on the 26th!

I know, I know.. I'll probably end up dissapointing myself, as I'd be really excited for the 27th of Feb and everyone else will prolly go "meh".. but this is for me. And me at 7, who looked forward to New Years because it meant I was that much closer to my birthday.

I'm slowing down and enjoying the little things in life. :D

Oh my God, I had a writing journal..!

A long time ago, I was very big into writing. I wrote on every scrap of paper I found.. and at one point it was all I wanted to do. I wanted to be a professional writer. These days.. not so much.

I love writing.. I really, really do.. But I don't think I'll ever be as awesome as Calvin who managed to get published (and will repeat the awesomeness soon..?), or be as eloquent as Meethz, or as imaginative as Quincey. Lucky for me, I count these people as close friends and I can bask in their awesomeness and grin.

No, this post isn't about me feeling sorry for myself..

I once had a writing journal. The front of the book was full of prompt words and situations, short excerpts and a target number of words, and the back.. was empty except for one entry titled 'Do You Understand'. I don't remember writing it (I never remember my own writing, I'm even amazed at school assignments I completed when I came across them..), and I see a lot of things I wanted to tweak.. but I was strangely proud of myself. Well.. of the 'me' that wrote it. It made me go immediately on a quest to find a pen, so I can scribble some more.

I once had a chat with Quincey about where our passion for writing went, and how much we missed it. Well, I'm going to see if I can get it back. So here's a project I'm setting up for myself.. One piece every fortnight. I'm going to write a short piece and post it on the net.. somewhere. I'm too embarrassed to share the link, but I might.. someday.

Wish me luck.

Bandung, January 2010

Unlike some of my smarter slash more.. diligent - (God, for some reason I hate that word) - friends who finished uni much, much earlier than me.. I'm not quite done yet. I'd like to say it's because of some unavoidable reason I can't really disclose in a public space, but truth is I'm a really, really lazy girl. So I have to keep going back-and-forth from Jakarta to Bandung, because really.. truth be told - I can't stand Bandung these days. It's boring. And annoyingly peaceful.

I used to love that place so much I only came home when my mum started complaining she never saw me. Or I'd visit Jakarta just for the day on an insane whim with my friends, driving 2 hours to Jakarta to eat noodles and then rush back to Bandung for classes. I loved Bandung so much that I vowed I was going to move permanently there when I finished uni.

That was before I realized I loved Bandung because I had my friends with me 24/7 since I lived in Ciumbuleuit - a stretch of road that was brimming with UNPAR students (and where UNPAR is actually located in). Most of my friends lived a couple of houses away, the farthest one was located a mere 15 minutes drive away. Food was abundant, and my favourite places delivered right to my door - which meant I once spent a whole week without showering with Jo and Adin, in Jo's room, eating take outs and watching trashy TV shows, only showering when we couldn't stand how smelly we were. And with everything being only an arm's reach away from one's place of residence, it wasn't exactly uncommon to see people milling around in their pj's at all hours of the day.

I realize how disgusting this sounds, but we missed classes for the whole week and it was a one-off performance, never to be repeated as we all repented soon after. I swear I always showered if I had to attend classes (except for the few times I didn't wake up in time.. and that one time I almost missed my exams).. And it was so much fun!

ANYWAY! It was so weird to be back and realize I didn't recognise anyone. And its probably the main reason I'm so fed up with Bandung when I have to go see my thesis-advisor. Everyone is a stranger. The kids lounging around my campus, the ones having lunch at my favourite haunts, people at the photocopy centre.. Oh the people at the internet place grinned when they saw me, the janitor greeted me and we had a chat, and the lady serving me noodles was as lovely as ever - but everyone else was a stranger.

When you live 24/7 in one place you quickly recognise its residents, and for the first time - I realized I was the guest. Not the inhabitant. Strange feeling.

Seeing one of my old homes being.. dismantled only added to the feeling.


I moved a couple of times in the 4 years I was there - almost once every year in fact. And probably the most memorable one was RaBen - this house that was falling apart. The floor in front of our second floor bathroom was rotted, so we always had to jump to get to and from it. The railing were broken on the stairs - which happened on one extremely drunken night, courtesy of yours trully and a friend. My room was so damp that my bag would grow mould if I didn't use it regularly, meethz would probably also add that she once found mouldy chicken bones in my room (courtesy of my brother who ate KFC in my room, wrapped the bones in tissue and then forgot to throw it away before a 3 month break)

Seeing the old place getting torn down was awful. Even though it hasn't been fit to live in for a while now.

I miss my Ciumbuleuit. With my friends living around me, and gossip travelling faster than the speed of light, I miss the way music and movies got shared around.. Like I said - I miss MY Ciumbuleuit.

Even the shops around campus has changed. A lot of my fave haunts have dissapeared.

Well. At least one thing still remained. Pak Moes' place - noodles with corned beef and cheese, and a half boiled egg. It never fails to make me sigh and grin like an idiot. Unhealthy AND delicious - a perfect combination!


Grraaagh. So many things about uni was just.. perfect. But I have to graduate soon. Like this month. Or next month. Before my 24th birthday!

Lesigh.

Senator Savino, NY December 2, 2009

Sometimes, I even out-geek myself

Technically I don't think I've earned the right to cal myself a 'geek', but amongst my friends (from middle school.. junior high.. high school.. uni.. etc..) I'm certainly the geeky-est. Okay fine, I am a bit of a geek. *big grin*

So.. A couple of years back when I got wind of Star Trek being re-vamped I was a little freaked out. And by a 'little', I mean I growled at any of my friends who told me any bits of news and slapped someone who told me when the trailer came out (as if I didn't already know!).. Turns out - I'm in love with the new movie. I mean.. Srsly. Best movie of 2009.

And of course this means I'm definitely getting the DVD. And by DVD I thought I meant just a DVD. Guess what came out? A limited edition DVD with an ENTER-frickin'-PRISE case!! You can imagine how excited I got. But tragedy!! - I was out of town and I underestimated the sheer amount of closet Trekkies and new fans that would get as excited as me when they saw the case!

I was away for a week!.. And that was enough to loose any and all hope of getting the limited edition DVD! *I swoon, I whimper, I faint*

My brother was lucky enough to grab the last one in this record store - and it was a display DVD, it wasn't even supposed to be sold. He kept insisting he wanted that one, and that one only. I panicked and searched all over Jakarta the next day, placing orders at every single shop I visited. Remember how big Jakarta is? And the traffic jams? And the expensive tol roads? And the sheer stupidity of motor cycles here? Yes. I braved all that!

And got nothing!

(This is a long story, I know. But I promise the end is coming..)

So.. I had given up hope and sort of grudgingly admitted to myself I'd have to get the one in metal casing (yeah I didn't want the plastic one either ;P) the next day, as those were rapidly going as well.. But then! GRAMEDIA CALLED.

Gramedia is a chain of bookstores in Indonesia which I used to frequent a lot as a kid - not so much now.. because I have to spend my own money, and I'm permanently broke.

So yes.

They called.

"Excuse me, Ms. Siregar.. Unfortunately we wont be re-stocking the limited edition DVD case of the Star Trek movie." *pause for dramatic effect as I loose all hope* "but we still have a couple at our office." *and BOOM! I jump out of my chair and sort of.. flail my arms.* - At this point I was trying to figure out which Gramedia is closest to my house as I thought I'd prolly have to pick it up.. "If you could give me your full address we can have the DVD deliver via messenger and you can pay on the spot."

And end scene, as I practically faint. Okay exaggeration. But I had to sit back down again.. And then I spent 5 minuted telling the Twitter world just how much I loved Gramedia, and a whole day gloating at my brother since my DVD will be BRAND NEW. *grin*

Here are shit pictures of the DVD :


Technically, the one on display is my brother's, as I don't trust myself to put mine on display just yet. I still keep giggling just at the sight of it. I also make whooshing sound as I transport the DVD from one place to another (it's still in it's plastic covering, and I can't decide which place is safest to store it in).

So.. I LOVE YOU GRAMEDIA. Thank you so much! Talk about customer service ;D

Hmm..

Thick square-glasses.
Weird floppy hair.
Bad skin.

Am I turning into Ed Byrne?


Having said that.. I do have a crush on Ed. Ah well. As long as I don't grow man-bits, things could be worse.

Pimpin' the fam'

So. I may be biased, but I think my family's a talented bunch.

Cousin #1 : clickityclack (The one often featured on my pics. The one featured on my last photo-post, actually..!)




Then there's : rushadee (Birthday Boy who just turned 19!)



And : ralgani (EMO BRAT! xD Haha! But then again at his age - just about everyone is.)




And last but not least... Rafy Sugiri (ralgani's dad!)




My brother has some pretty awesome pics too (and he's talented at painting to boot. The bastard.) but the only ones he makes public are his warjunkies stuff (he's an airsoft geek), there are some pretty cool shots OF him though over at his kuronoraito multiply account.



Feel free to comment here or on their accounts! :D

Oh.. and..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRAT!
I can't believe your fat arse is now 19. Be good and stop being a prev-fa-ce!

(Hugs, from the other prev-fa-ce in the fam ;P)

There She Is

Instructions:

1. Go to http://sambakza.net/
2. Select -English-, so you can understand the menu options.
3. Click on the BLUE square, titled 'amalloc'
4. Watch the flash-vids in order
5. Squeal as appropriate, and spread the word

HAPPY NEW YEAR..!

A preview of pictures yet to come :D Available for larger viewing over at my dA, as always..!